Called the Children of the Voice and Oracle of the Mighty Gods, The Lovers card is ruled by Gemini and represents the reconciliation of opposites, decisions and choices to be made. Since Gemini is the card of The Twins, the card of The Lovers can bring a feeling of predestination to a romantic entanglement, one that relates to a soul mate connection or a twin soul. There may be an attraction with someone outside of your type, but the attraction is strong regardless of whether it makes sense to you or not.
Embodied in the symbolism of The Lovers is the mystical marriage of Sol and Luna, of fire and water, and points to the merging of spiritual and sexual energies to emerge with a third element, that of the authentic Self.
On a basic level, The Lovers card refers to a new love turning up in your life, someone different, exciting and somehow familiar – like falling into the arms of a Soul Mate it is one of those experiences that many long for and rarely find.
And if found, how can you guarantee that this new relationship will stay the same and have the same depth of passion that it had in the beginning? Often it is an illusion, and yet the romance and persuasion of the state of being in love is irresistible to most.
There is an element of making a difficult choice in a relationship, something must be surrendered in order to gain what one perceives as more valuable. The choice is not an easy one, and how can you know if it will be the right one in the end?
“She is a friend of my mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order. It's good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind.” – Toni Morrison
Of course the opportunity with this card is to discover, through the vehicle of Love, more about your own relationship with yourself. Are you loveable? Do you deserve the happiness and fulfillment that is found in true love? Many people fear that the answer to both questions is no, and yet they couldn't be more wrong. By developing a respectful and loving relationship with yourself, you will then attract its mirror out there, so you can then see the reflection of your self-love in the eyes of the Other.
The Lovers is yet one of many cards in the Tarot that refer to our dual nature, the dark and light, the saint and sinner, the beauty and the beast that resides within us all. Learning to accept each side of this coin is the key to passing beyond the mundane meaning of the card – and find the real meaning of true love.
Generally speaking, we are attracted to those people who seem to possess the qualities we perceive we are missing but that we deeply desire. The Other in this instance is a mirror to what parts of yourself you remain unaware of, but because these qualities hold such an attraction, you can be sure that these qualities already exist within you – otherwise you would not be able to recognise them. Most people lack the skills or are unable or unwilling to do the work required to bring these qualities to the surface and must experience them through relationships – with the Beloved, with family and with close friendships.
Traditionally the card of The Lovers brings a romantic choice, love, attraction and a wonderful chemistry with someone new. This is not necessarily a significator of marriage, but rather the initial stages of euphoria and infatuation. The card can often point to a difficult decision, although the imagery is mostly shown with two people there is often a third element that is not apparent and which can cause friction and which brings in the necessity of making a difficult choice. All sides of a decision must be weighed carefully, as this card indicates there are always consequences to our choices.
Write down what you find most compelling or attractive in your partner or in the ideal love that you still seek. Now before each of those qualities write “I am….”. How does that feel?
It is time for you to open your heart, first to yourself, and then to the world.