Smart Healthy Women

  • Home
  • Digital Issues
  • Podcasts
  • Short Courses
  • Health
    • Fitness
      • Bodywork
    • Food & Diet
    • Mindset
  • Lifestyle
    • Family
    • Style
    • Inspiration
  • Love
    • Dating
    • Sex
  • Money
    • Women’s Business
    • Career
    • Investment

Smart Healthy Women

Because you matter

  • Home
  • Digital Issues
  • Podcasts
  • Short Courses
  • Health
    • Fitness
      • Bodywork
    • Food & Diet
    • Mindset
  • Lifestyle
    • Family
    • Style
    • Inspiration
  • Love
    • Dating
    • Sex
  • Money
    • Women’s Business
    • Career
    • Investment
  • Home
  • /
  • Health
  • /
  • Reconciliation of the Heart
Health

Reconciliation of the Heart

By Dr Patti Ashley

Current research has discovered that the heart is the regulatory organ, not the brain. In order to feel safe and secure, the head and the heart have to be in coherence. Stressful emotions such as anger, frustration, and anxiety create irregular and erratic heart beats, or what is known as an incoherent heart rhythm pattern, while positive emotions such as appreciation, care, joy, and love create highly ordered, smooth and harmonious heart beats, known as a coherent heart rhythm.

Paying attention to the heart is crucial to overall wellness. Current stressful lifestyles can leave your heart in an incoherent state. Reconciliation of the heart requires an honest inventory of your inner and outer life and a willingness to look at what might be hidden in the shadow. Psychologist Carl Jung defined the shadow as the place in the unconscious where you hide parts of yourself that appear negative to your conscious mind, fearing they may be evil or bad. When you fail to recognize these shadow aspects, they may cause you to feel and/or act in ways you don’t consciously understand.

Prior to the twentieth century, survival was the key component of daily life. Today lifespans are much longer, and we have many luxuries that our ancestors did not enjoy. With modern technology, education, medical advances, and appliances that have decreased the time needed for basic survival, we can now pay more attention to the deeper aspects of what makes us feel more whole.

Additionally, the pace of life has quickened, and we tend to want everything fast. High-speed internet, fast food, and even faster self-help practices and psychotherapies have been suggested. Faster is better. Reaching out and grasping whatever is quick and easy to fill the void and ease emotional pain is commonplace today. Addiction is rampant in our culture. The opiate epidemic affects far too many of our young adults and is a perfect example of an attempt to find a quick fix for the pain. We fear the shadow, and then we run and hide.

Reconciliation of the heart requires an honest inventory of your inner and outer life and a willingness to look at what might be hidden in the shadow.

Since research on social/emotional needs is relatively new, many people grew up in families and schools where aspects of outdated relational practices were still in place. These rigid, shame-based patterns often resulted in a sense of inauthenticity, or a false self. Charles Whitfield, a medical doctor specializing in trauma and addiction, described in his book, Healing the Child Within, how a false self develops as a way to coverup fear and doubt, focusing on what others want. It is over-conforming, giving love only conditionally, and often covering up, hiding, and/or denying feelings. On the other hand, in an ideal environment, a child develops a sense of authenticity, separate from the needs and desires of others.

Swiss psychoanalysist Dr. Alice Miller thoroughly studied the long-terms effects of outdated practices on families and individuals and dramatically revealed how rigid rules and unrealistic expectations can create conditions where individuals are unable to develop or express their true feelings. It is eye opening to realize how the old dysfunctional patterns actually did much more harm to human development than we consciously recognize. And it is even more disheartening to know that in this educated country, many people are completely blind to these concepts.

Reconciliation of the heart is all about healing the past, present and future. Studies have shown that we are carrying 14 generations of ancestral trauma in our DNA. This means we have an extra difficult job of reconciling the broken and hidden parts. Reconciliation is defined as the action of making one view or belief compatible with another. In order to do that with your heart, you have to excavate your authentic self and learn to live a more congruent life.

This requires three things:

1. Willingness to face the whole self- light and dark- knowing this is the only way to self-love. When you stop running from wounds and self-judgments, you can better acknowledge your willingness to face the shadow and be vulnerable to look at the parts of yourself that have been hidden due to fear and shame.

2. Commitment to stay the course even when it gets hard and seems emotionally intolerable. It is so easy to go back to old patterns. Making a commitment, saying yes to the process, and staying the course even when it gets tough.

3. Tenacity to take your authenticity to the next level of healing. Declaring the past is over and will no longer influence you. Staying and not running away or looking for the quick fix. Taking all the time you need to do the work that will return you to self-love and reconcile your heart.

The heart’s journey is one of reclaiming the gifts that you abandoned in order to fit in and realizing it is okay to live the authentic life you are meant to live. Reconciling what has happened, forgiving yourself and creating a new story helps bring you back to your true self. Keep in mind, this is not an easy task. Healing ancestral trauma, staying present in current emotional awareness, and building a brighter future for generations to come calls for willingness, commitment, and tenacity.

Songwriters, poets, authors and other artists express themselves from the heart, often inspiring feelings of awe, curiosity, and mystery. Studies have shown that creative expression rewires the brain and helps to calm the nervous system and bring the heart back into coherence.

So…find something creative or fun that you love to do, and give yourself permission to explore possibilities of your authenticity and joy. Reconcile your heart, and as Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see.”

About the author

Dr Patti Ashley
Dr Patti Ashley
Author, Psychotherapist | Website

Dr. Patti Ashley is an International workshop presenter, author, speaker, psychotherapist and Authenticity Architect brings unique insight into the identification and treatment of trauma, shame, grief and dysfunctional family patterns. Her signature model of Authenticity Architecture creates long-term changes in the brain and central nervous system, breaking through barriers to personal freedom and authentic growth, and excavating the truth of self-love, belonging and connection.
Her thirty-five-plus years of experience includes developing and teaching continuing education courses for physicians, hospital wellness programs, universities and other private organizations; and counseling individuals.

    This author does not have any more posts.
Tweet
Pin1
Share1
2 Shares
Tags: brain, heart, heart's journey, Reconciliation, research, shadow
Previous Post

Why Hawaii is banning chemical sunscreen from 2021

December 20, 2019
Next Post

4 Ways Gratitude Helped Me Heal My Depression

March 3, 2020
heal my depression

You May Also Like

Save Your Heart
Health

Five Ways To Protect Your Heart This Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2015February 24, 2019
Bodywork, Health, Love, Mindset, Videos

Heart Activation

January 15, 2013February 24, 2019

CHOOSE YOUR FREE GUIDE

CHOOSE YOUR FREE GUIDE

Free Guides

Check your email for the link to download your free guide.

You'll receive occasional news, ideas and tips from us, and while we love your company, you can unsubscribe at any time.

Get Social with Us!
About Us
Author Picture:

Join me as I share great strategies, stories, trends and awesome tips from experts all over the globe, for women who love to live life to the full!

[email protected] More about us
LATEST PODCAST EPISODE
Recent Posts
  • Inspiration

    Who is in charge? You or Life?

    By Kristin Smith July 31, 2020July 31, 2020
  • Health

    Parenting a child with autism solo (while trying to build a business…)

    By Susie Hopkins June 30, 2020July 1, 2020
  • Culture, Editor's Pick

    I Can’t Breathe

    By Froswa' Booker-Drew June 5, 2020June 5, 2020
  • Mindset

    It’s Time to Wait and See What New Self Will Emerge from the Stillness of this Chaos

    By Dr Dravon James April 15, 2020April 15, 2020
  • Health

    How to Organise and Clean Your Home for Better Health

    By Jane Wilson April 11, 2020April 15, 2020
  • Health

    Time to let go…

    By Crystal Sheffield-Baird March 28, 2020April 15, 2020
  • Health

    How to Gain Certainty in an Uncertain World

    By Priscille d'Arifat March 19, 2020April 15, 2020
  • Health

    4 Ways Gratitude Helped Me Heal My Depression

    By Tania Burgess March 3, 2020March 3, 2020
  • Health

    Reconciliation of the Heart

    By Dr Patti Ashley February 18, 2020April 15, 2020
  • Health

    Why Hawaii is banning chemical sunscreen from 2021

    By Victoria Sandison December 20, 2019December 19, 2019
Facebook Twitter Pinterest Instagram Linkedin
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Website Disclaimer

© 2011-2020 Smart Healthy Women Magazine. All rights reserved.

Type and hit enter to display search result