I learned an important lesson and I want to share it with anyone willing to listen to me.

If you read until the end I guarantee it will be worth it.

You are in charge of your own destiny and you get to decide on and shape your reality with every single choice you make.

Sounds good right?

Turns out that I was there a few years ago, but the reality I chose was not a good one.

I was a part of a tribe made up of the strangest professional relationships you could ever imagine.

I became laser focused on my worth depending on my network and I became a people pleaser constantly taken advantage of and then promised the world in return.

At times costing me money, time with my daughter and freedom. But the thing that took the biggest hit was my mental health.

Casually on a daily basis I was called fat, hideous, ugly and then had constant sexual comments thrown at me.

Someone who doesn’t stand for that s**t to suddenly letting it permeate my thoughts;

<blockquote>“If I lose this career I’m nothing.”</blockquote>

<blockquote>“If I just stop eating I’ll be thin and they can’t say that anymore.”</blockquote>

Every. Single. Day.

Then slowly I tuned back into my self worth. Everything that didn’t quite sit right with me was magnified and I let it hurt.

I wrote notes to myself every night, listing things I was accepting for myself that I would never allow my daughter to experience.

I worked hard to distance myself and trust that nothing anyone could say or do to me could make me worse at being me.

The real me.

The one I wanted back more than anything.

I pushed every day until I felt a wave of change completely wash over me.

I systematically sorted my life out.

Nothing was too big or too daunting.

No drama too hard to let go of.

No person too hard to walk away from.

No loss too scary.

I loved me too much.

In a way I think I subconsciously chose to give myself a beautiful life. It was a decision that had been made for me some time ago and I’m still going and things continue to improve every week.

I don’t think it’s part of growing or experience or decision. I think it’s years of hard self development work and with becoming completely tired of settling for people, situations and conversations that don’t match my path or my worth.

Listen to your gut, trust instincts over everything.

And pay attention to what you accept even down to the conversations you’re prepared to listen to.

Please, always love yourself more than any outside gain.

I guarantee it’s nothing compared to what you can give yourself when you choose to.

Love always,
Emily-rose

Image credit: Tamara Bellis