A New Phase
At the beginning of this year, my husband and I walked our youngest child to school and saw her into her classroom. Just like her brother two years before her, excitement was her main feeling.
She confidently put her bag in its locker with her hat, and went into the classroom to one of the activities that had been set up without a backwards glance to us. In fact, when we went over to kiss her goodbye she seemed a bit irritated to be interrupted! We walked away feeling relief and pride. I looked at my daughter, who a year earlier had had a lot of difficulties socialising with other kids at Kindergarten, become this confident girl inviting another child to join her in the activity.
I was so proud of her self-confidence, she wasn’t one of the kids crying and clinging to parents, I felt like I had raised my daughter to know she will be okay and school is a cool place with lots of fun and learning.
I had been apprehensive, as she had only turned 5 one week earlier and had been known not to want to participate in something if she didn’t see the point. She had been assessed by a Childhood Development Officer at Kindergarten who assured me she was fine, but I still agonised over the decision to start her then or hold her back for a year. Was I wanting her to start school this year because I wanted the school hours free for me, or was she really ready?
For her first few days at school, I kept waiting for something to tell me I had done the wrong thing. Then something DID happen. On day four, I had taken her to school and was talking to another Mum outside the classroom. When the bell rang, my daughter suddenly appeared before me – I was delighted, thinking she wanted to give me a hug or kiss goodbye. Instead, she says to me, with her typical ernest face “Mummy, the bell has gone, that means it’s time for you to go now.” And with that she turned and walked back into her class room.
Well, message received loud and clear!
I can now enter the next phase of Motherhood without guilt (well, less guilt anyway): it’s ok to enjoy the school hours to do the many things I need/want to do, both for work and socialising. It’s ok to feel the freedom after giving my body, my time, my life to my child ren for the last 8 years. Finally it is time for me to claim a part of each day to do what I want – because “it is time for me to go” – okay, I will!