Dating Detox
Dating tips for women who have been burnt one too many times.
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” – Albert Einstein
Falling in love again after being hurt can be really tough. It’s easy to think you are a failure after a break up, to run away and put all men in the same category. In the end you're only hurting one person – YOU!
After a breakup, especially after being burnt, the most common thoughts are:
“What if I never meet anyone again?”
“I feel so hurt I just want to be loved.”
“What if the next guy hurts me too?”
Too often women plunge into the arms of another man too soon to avoid feeling the full pain of getting over a man, and unfortunately make the same mistakes, only to end up broken-hearted again.
If this is you – and I know we have all been there at some stage or another – it’s time to take ownership of your circumstances. STOP, take a deep breath and look at what your positive learnings are from the painful relationship experiences.
You – and only you – create your reality and it’s now time to break any of your patterns, heal, learn to love like a teenager and ultimately find Mr Right for a happy healthy relationship. Understanding how to break your old dysfunctional patterns is incredibly empowering and will serve you well.
After being hurt it’s normal to feel fragile, angry and a little scared to get back on the horse. If you are feeling these fears, chances are you are not ready. As tempting as it is to fill the void, it is a good sign you need some emotional TLC and to restore your confidence.
Before looking for love again let go of any anger and release your baggage. Chances are no one besides a therapist wants to deal with you. You have to heal yourself before you can give back to anyone.
If you think all men are jerks, sadly that is all you will attract.
If you have been hurt one too many times, it’s time to take a break from men and have a relationship with yourself and to look at what types of men you are attracting. Take a deep breath and rediscover what is important to you. Embrace ‘me’ time, get out there try new things, do the things you have always wanted to do, spoil yourself, buy yourself something beautiful, spend time with your friends.
Take yourself on dates, go to the beauty spa, and get a new hair style, a new wardrobe, learn to love you, take a candle lit bath, find some beautiful rituals just for you! Enjoy the amazing you!
Taking time out for you will give you a much needed confidence boost and, most importantly, give you clarity on whether you have been having relationships with the wrong men. Being in your heart space will give you the answer to that question.
Taking time out for you also gives you the opportunity to really know what you want and don’t want from a relationship. It also allows you to establish your true core values. During this time a great exercise is to write down the qualities you are looking for in a relationship. Focus more on your ideal relationship rather than the man just to be with. Your ideal relationship is something that is unique to you, it could be exotic, elaborate or simple.
It could be full of romance, support, adventure, it could mean having a family, and it could be full of great communication, sexual chemistry and so much more. The world is your oyster. Start to create your ideal relationship by defining it.
Once you have defined your relationship ask yourself: “Who do I have to be to allow this relationship enter into my life?”
Start to think about the person you have to be to attract this relationship, followed by implementing your new found way of being. As each day passes and you focus more on your bright future, you will let go of the painful past.
When you are ready go into a new relationship, expect the best. Expect the new man to loving, genuine and loyal – follow my dating detox steps and you’ll be sure to detect a good man.
Take things slowly, don’t rush into sex. Get to know him, what is important to him, his values, be friends before lovers, be an open book about your needs in a relationship and set healthy boundaries early on. He will respect you for your integrity and self-worth.
A solid relationship needs a foundation of friendship, trust, respect, honesty good communication. It takes time to develop those qualities in each other – you deserve the best, love is out there, and good men just like you are looking for love.
And remember it takes two to tango.
About the author
Samantha Jayne is a Relationship Expert, Dating Coach, Matchmaker, Author, Speaker and founder of Samantha Jayne.
Samantha is THE expert in rescuing professional singles looking for love. With Blue Label Life’s incredible 92% success rate in establishing long term relationships. She is also founder of Make Men Commit, a website for women to bring out their inner goddess within and snare the man of their dreams!
Samantha brings a fresh and honest approach to the world of dating advice, “When it comes to Love, be open, positive and expect the unexpected”.
Pick up your copy of Samantha's e-book How to Make a Man Commit: Your ultimate guide to capturing the man of your dreams AND keeping him" today.
