Smart Healthy Women

  • Home
  • Digital Issues
  • Podcasts
  • Short Courses
  • Health
    • Fitness
      • Bodywork
    • Food & Diet
    • Mindset
  • Lifestyle
    • Family
    • Style
    • Inspiration
  • Love
    • Dating
    • Sex
  • Money
    • Women’s Business
    • Career
    • Investment

Smart Healthy Women

Because you matter

  • Home
  • Digital Issues
  • Podcasts
  • Short Courses
  • Health
    • Fitness
      • Bodywork
    • Food & Diet
    • Mindset
  • Lifestyle
    • Family
    • Style
    • Inspiration
  • Love
    • Dating
    • Sex
  • Money
    • Women’s Business
    • Career
    • Investment
  • Home
  • /
  • Inspiration
  • /
  • Why I’m No Longer the CEO of People Pleasing
Inspiration

Why I’m No Longer the CEO of People Pleasing

By Kristin Smith
People Pleaser

Many who are gifted with the ability to hustle and conquer goal after goal, are always on the hunt to be more, do more, and get more. 

We look for ways to take advantage of everything life has to offer, while getting excited about what is to still come.  All of this is magical and absolutely OK; but what if all your hard work still leaves you dissatisfied? You suddenly realize you have lost sight of what makes you happy because you are so busy trying to make others happy.

What if one day you wake up to find you are so much of a people pleaser that you no longer feel fulfilled and do not know how to enjoy the life you are building?

For many years I never felt “settled.”  In my twenty-year marriage, I was partnered with someone who was never happy with our life status.  As a go-getter, I would immediately go find a new house or whatever thing it was that I thought would make him happy for the moment.

As a result, I never let myself enjoy the homes we had in the beautiful mountains of Colorado. (I have since learned this is called taking the geographic cure – treating the symptom instead of the problem.)  Do not get me wrong, this was not his fault.  It was my compulsion to make others feel wanted, needed, happy, and loved at the expense of my own needs.

I am not totally sure where the need to please entered my life.

Perhaps it was when my parents hit hard times, constantly fighting over bills, and soon discovered the differences between their own individual definitions of happiness?  Maybe it was during the time when alcoholism briefly visited my mom’s life? Thank God she was brave and loved us enough to overcome this moment of weakness, but it stayed long enough for undesirable memories to develop. Perhaps that was when I slapped the title, “People Pleaser” right on my forehead.  Why?  Because I wanted to keep my parents happy, in love, and maintain peace in our home.  If I was as perfect as I could be for them, we would have a better chance of keeping the love and peace we had always known within the four walls of my childhood home.

Being a people pleaser meant that my own needs were not just overlooked, they were never defined.  When I finally started to identify them it was a blessing, but it also created a lot of inner turmoil. I suddenly recognized the validity of my own needs and grew less inclined to coddle other people’s more superficial wishes.  Once my healthy mindset was no longer consumed with the unhealthy impulse to constantly put myself last, I was able to have a more reasonable dialogue that could be understood and accepted. 

The next big challenge was learning how to translate the right dialogue, emotions, and feelings into action without being burdened by guilt.

When I looked back at my beautiful childhood that, like everyone else’s in the world, had some challenges, I realized I had made myself the CEO of People Pleasing. More recently than you may expect, I made the decision to fire myself from that not-so-esteemed position.  I no longer wanted to be the CEO of People Pleasing. I no longer wanted to keep giving in to the happiness of others when it meant denying my own needs.  Although I never experienced being terminated from a job, the moment I fired myself became the most liberating experience of my life.

What about you? 

In what areas of your life are you restricting your own happiness?  Are you a people pleaser?  If so, you know how exhausting it can be.  Let me tell you, the people closest to you will continue to use this to their advantage – often without even realizing it. They will take, and take, and take until you won’t even be able to remember the last time you actually received without giving.  Please understand that you must be willing to receive, or you will become too empty to give.

It is my hope you will never lose the gift of giving and you will always be more of a giver than a taker. But I pray you will also hold on to yourself, your happiness, your calling and your passion in the process. 

It is my hope that if you have given yourself the title of “People Pleaser,” you will terminate that position and give yourself an immediate promotion.

Xoxo,

Kristin

About the author

Kristin Smith
Website

Kristin Smith is a trained coach who seeks to empower women to step into their best life now. No excuses! She left her corporate life to explore the world of business and life coaching. Kristin received her Master's degree from the University of Northern Colorado and graduated from Coach Training Alliance and now powerfully coaches women in business and in life.

Kristin is a mover and a shaker. She spent many years plagued by the disease to please and was ready to get clear on her life and what she was divinely designed to do, which was to live on purpose. If you are looking to go from inaction to action in your life, career, business or as a stepmom seeking to be powerfully amazing, contact her today!

  • Kristin Smith
    https://smarthealthywomen.com/author/kristins/
    Your or Life?
    July 31, 2020
    Who is in charge? You or Life?
  • Kristin Smith
    https://smarthealthywomen.com/author/kristins/
    letting go
    July 18, 2019
    What if Letting Go Looked Different?
  • Kristin Smith
    https://smarthealthywomen.com/author/kristins/
    joy factor
    November 8, 2016
    The Joy Factor
  • Kristin Smith
    https://smarthealthywomen.com/author/kristins/
    positive feelings
    October 12, 2016
    A Two 2 Step Process to Avoiding Unsettled Feelings
Tweet
Pin1
Share28
29 Shares
Tags: emotions, go-getter, peace, people pleaser
extraordinary year
Previous Post

5 Simple Steps to Create and Celebrate an Extraordinary New Year

December 31, 2018
Next Post

Why we ALL Need to Come Out of the Creative Closet

July 31, 2019

You May Also Like

Breathe
Lifestyle, Mindset

5 Ways to Slay Anxiety

July 5, 2018May 17, 2019
positive feelings
Mindset

A Two 2 Step Process to Avoiding Unsettled Feelings

October 12, 2016May 17, 2019
surrender pain
Editor's Pick, Inspiration

When Surrender is the Only Answer

October 4, 2016May 17, 2019

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CHOOSE YOUR FREE GUIDE

CHOOSE YOUR FREE GUIDE

Free Guides

Check your email for the link to download your free guide.

You'll receive occasional news, ideas and tips from us, and while we love your company, you can unsubscribe at any time.

Get Social with Us!
About Us
Author Picture:

Join me as I share great strategies, stories, trends and awesome tips from experts all over the globe, for women who love to live life to the full!

[email protected] More about us
LATEST PODCAST EPISODE
Recent Posts
  • Inspiration

    Who is in charge? You or Life?

    By Kristin Smith July 31, 2020July 31, 2020
  • Health

    Parenting a child with autism solo (while trying to build a business…)

    By Susie Hopkins June 30, 2020July 1, 2020
  • Culture, Editor's Pick

    I Can’t Breathe

    By Froswa' Booker-Drew June 5, 2020June 5, 2020
  • Mindset

    It’s Time to Wait and See What New Self Will Emerge from the Stillness of this Chaos

    By Dr Dravon James April 15, 2020April 15, 2020
  • Health

    How to Organise and Clean Your Home for Better Health

    By Jane Wilson April 11, 2020April 15, 2020
  • Health

    Time to let go…

    By Crystal Sheffield-Baird March 28, 2020April 15, 2020
  • Health

    How to Gain Certainty in an Uncertain World

    By Priscille d'Arifat March 19, 2020April 15, 2020
  • Health

    4 Ways Gratitude Helped Me Heal My Depression

    By Tania Burgess March 3, 2020March 3, 2020
  • Health

    Reconciliation of the Heart

    By Dr Patti Ashley February 18, 2020April 15, 2020
  • Health

    Why Hawaii is banning chemical sunscreen from 2021

    By Victoria Sandison December 20, 2019December 19, 2019
Facebook Twitter Pinterest Instagram Linkedin
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Website Disclaimer

© 2011-2020 Smart Healthy Women Magazine. All rights reserved.

Type and hit enter to display search result