Are you a step-mom who is simply surviving and you would much rather be thriving in your role?
Being a step-mom is no easy walk in the park. As a veteran step-mom, I wasted plenty of years paralyzed with the disease to please. I had no idea what my role was supposed to look like, how I was supposed to act, and in what way I needed to “show up” in my stepdaughters’ lives. I was over-obligated, overwhelmed, and I was weighed down by the common pitfalls commonly seen in today’s blended families. This was cause for being out of focus and stressed out.
Something had to change.
Does this sound like you? If so, it is time to GET SAVVY and reclaim peace, balance, and boundaries within your home so you can concentrate on all the greatness that truly matters in your family. Are you ready to raise your family bar from just blended to boldly blended? Yes?
Good, it starts with you first.
The first secret is to gain clarity in your role.
I don’t care if you are a first timer in this role or you are seventeen years in, like me. If you haven’t taken the time to create what your role is going to look like and how you want to show up for your stepchildren, you are going to easily start to feel that ugly resentment thing and you don’t have time for that. Seek clarity and design your beautiful role.
Take charge, have fun, and create!
Secret number two is important!
Shed what is no longer serving! Any savvy step-mom will put this into practice pretty quickly. Sometimes there can be some serious gunk that comes up in a blended family from loyalty wars, to jealousy, to competition, to court, to custody, to rebellious behavior and the list goes on and on. Well, whatever the situation, it is important to shed what is no longer serving. Think about what you are tolerating in your blended family household.
What is impacting your ability to thrive? Let’s do some spring cleaning within your blended family household. Get a piece of paper out and start to write down what you are tolerating and then slowly start to take action towards no longer tolerating whatever is keeping you and your blended family from playing a much bigger game.
This is how you shed what is no longer serving.
My final secret for you today is to embrace your role and love it.
If you are an involved step-mom who undergoes some serious judgment and possibly some criticism, remind yourself of this point: what the world thinks of you is none of your business. Be bold, be gutsy, be amazing in your role, and stay involved. Your stepchildren need your influence and on the days where you might even question if they totally like you, know that deep down inside they do.
It takes time, hard work, and commitment to grow a rockstar-like relationship with your stepchildren. Don’t quit on them or yourself. You deserve to have a successful boldly blended family, so why settle for less? Exactly!