Why is it so easy for us to say that it is time “to let go” yet so much harder to follow through with or come to terms with it? Letting go is freeing and oftentimes so necessary, otherwise we are intertwined with the bondage “not letting go” has on our Soul.
We know the benefits of letting go, yet we still resist. We still push. We still hold on to a sense of hope or of unspoken promises we made to ourselves.
I walked through the pain of letting go. I went back and forth until I couldn’t keep going back and forth. It was beyond painful for me to face what I should be letting go of, but I didn’t have the backbone to do it.
I finally figured something out that worked for me. Letting go didn’t mean “never again” it simply just meant my life needed “to look differently.” In order for it to look differently, I had to respond, decide, push forward, and take on a different route to get to the destination of “different.”
Different didn’t mean less than what once was, it just meant repositioning myself to set myself on a new ride.
Letting go didn’t mean “never again” it simply just meant my life needed “to look differently.”
Tweet
My biggest “letting go moment” came from letting go of the pain of no longer having a mother who was alive. Being motherless at the age of 36 years old was tough to process. So much so that it took until I was 41 years old to let go of her passing symbolizing a forever loss and to accept the gain, which made my life different.
What did I gain you might wonder from the death of a parent? I gained a new appreciation for how delicate life actually was. I gained a sense of indebtedness to my mother for her unwavering love and commitment. In an odd way, I also gained her crazy energetic side that I thought I didn’t appreciate, until I also became crazy and energetic about how amazing life truly is.
Another example of letting go for me came from the closing stages of my twenty-year marriage. I was faced with, as a woman, a sense of personal relief when the decision was made to end the marriage, but as a mother, a sense of failure.
And it was the healthiest decision I could have possibly made for all involved. I had to let go of the guilt in having to make this overdue decision to throw in the towel.
I had to let go of the beautiful happy picture I had created in my head of what my marriage truly wasn’t. I had to accept that letting go didn’t mean things no longer existed or that I could no longer allow myself to feel a certain way, but that I needed to be okay with inviting in “different.”
It was different to walk the world single, but different isn’t always adverse. Different can be exquisite and consoling.
Letting go can feel like a forever blow to the heart, but in reality, letting go is merely a transitionary time in our life that permits legroom in our Souls.
What about you? Is there something you need to break free from, but the thought of letting go feels too excruciating? What if you sanctioned letting go as a gate pass to different, and not necessarily a final, conclusion?
XOXO,
Kristin
