Come out of the suitcase and really live!
You hold on to so much past data from your life’s experiences, unfortunately you tend to hold mostly to the bad stuff, and if you don’t realise you’re doing it, and understand it, it will negatively impact your life and relationships.
Mere belief cannot transform the events around you, but realisation can. It’s the difference between believing you are blessed, and actually observing the action of grace in the world.
Looking at your everyday life, in a way that allows you to see connections with grace, whenever you’re being attacked by someone in some area, you will see where you are also being supported by someone else, at that very same moment in other areas. This is just one very good example of observing the action of grace around you.
As I have said often, “We don’t need to slow down, we need to calm down.” It’s by remaining calm in all situations that you get to observe this phenomenon and see the love, peace and grace all around you. It’s not easy to stay calm when you feel the pull of past data telling you that you need to attack.
When we're in a relationship with anyone, we tend to bring all the past data from every relationship we’ve had over the years, whether it’s a love relationship, a work relationship, or friendship. Then we look for, and find, all the past aspects about that relationship, and we rely on that information to tell us what to do now. I know it sounds ridiculous, but we do it all the time. Moreover, we tell everyone we're going to do it by saying things like, “If they ever do this or that, or say this or that, or act in any way like someone else did who hurt me, they're gone!”
We carry all this past data around with us over the years. Some of the data dates back to when we were children, and we allow it to colour our judgment whenever we are in, or think we are in, the same situation. It’s like a knee jerk reaction. Sometimes, we even start to look for it right from the beginning of any new relationship.
So, we view the events of our lives through all this past data, and it colours how we see everything. We say things like “The last time I was in a relationship that felt great, it ended because of this”. We won’t even give ourselves the chance to start anew. I tell anyone who will listen:
“Work on your Self to change your attitude toward firstly yourself and your relationships, and stop waiting for others to change, as this is a futile exercise that is so limiting, you will never have a fulfilling relationship.”
Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change! By working on yourself – and finding out why you do the things you do – you will understand your own responses to situations and people much better, and you will begin to understand everyone else around you as well.
Working on yourself may be as simple as daily meditation with a guided meditation CD; it can be writing out and reading each day the person you are now becoming. Take note of the reactions you have to certain stimuli, and then set about seeing yourself acting differently, and before you know it you will start to heal.