The first lesson
I once attended a spiritual seminar where the speaker made the following statement: “The first lesson is honesty!” I thought what an interesting way to open a talk, a training day. But then as the day continued and I was being taught more mindset concepts, it all started to make sense. Honesty is a two way street: being honest with others and also being honest about yourself. I find that people can sometimes find it difficult with the latter. I see this demonstrated when people are trying to convince you of a point to do with a status of a relationship. Relationship here is not necessarily linked to the matters of the heart.
The over sell
I attend events, parties, get-togethers and other social networking functions quite frequently. When meeting people for the first time, one of the common questions is: “What is it that you do?” At one such event recently, I explained to a lady how I am a life-style blogger, happiness coach and also an author of an upcoming book on love. She became quite animated and excited when I mentioned the book that I am writing on love. I then asked her about her love status. She responded with how things are great, how she has been attending some spiritual course. There was a assertion of “I’m great, life is great, and I’m feeling good”. Usually with first impressions you want to project a positive reflection. So I was not too surprised about this; but there was strong hints of the over sell. This made me question whom was she trying to sell this image to? Who was she trying to convince with this version of the truth? Was she being honest with herself?
“Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?”
Being honest about you should be an easy task. But like with other aspects of life, simplicity does not always come so easily. This may be because you may not be agreeable with the outcome. Can you remember this quote from a very well known fairy tale: “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” This was in regards to constructive criticism, but still the same theme woven through: about a truth. Sometimes we are afraid of acknowledging a reality, as fear may be entering in.
No retreat, no surrender
Sometimes it is hard to face the truth. I grew up in the 80’s and liked the movies – even the cheesy ones – there was a movie that popped into my mind, “No Retreat, no Surrender”. There was a common theme throughout the movie that when the going gets tough: you do not run away, but you stand and face it. Here are the lyrics from the them song Stand on Your Own:
“Nobody told you, that you face the truth alone
But you got the power to begin, let yourself wonder that your spirit find a way
And reach for the power from within”
Thora thora: The key to keeping it simple, is to break it down
I often find the way to make things simple is to break them down. A phrase that pops into my mind is taken from Urdu, “thora thora”. Meaning bit-by-bit. So I would like to suggest the following steps with dealing with a truth:
- Acknowledge that: it is how it is. For example, I seem not to be having a good relationship with money.
- Acceptance. “Based on the facts with me struggling with money, not having sufficient, not covering the bills, there is an issue”
- It is okay. There is nothing wrong with addressing that there is an issue, this is the first step to making the changes – changing the story.
- What is my story? Talking about the story, what are the common patterns and emotions attached to this issue? Did I overspend to compensate for something that I felt was missing?
- I decide. It is up to you whether you would like to change the situation. You can seek help, or guidance but you will then need to follow this through. This may occur when you hit the proverbial “rock bottom”.
- You can create a new story. For example, I am going to look at other sources of creating an income. Here you are coming up with a solution, an alternative. Focusing on a problem just brings more attention to it, and sometimes more of it, as described when talking about the law of attraction.
So do you find it hard to be honest with yourself? What steps or processes do you take at working through your unique story?