Are the lack of money and an inability to lose weight connected?
Although I've always specialised in helping women achieve the perfect weight loss mindset, this year I have been doing a lot of thinking about how I could help different women achieve different goals. It's been very exciting, but I needed some clarity and therefore I decided to send out a survey to my existing and potential clients.
I wanted to discover what areas of their lives were presenting the most challenges and what they thought was holding them back.
The results were surprising and enlightening!
Almost half of the women I surveyed said that money was the main area of challenge in their lives. This was no surprise; I personally have had my challenges with finances and the desire to earn more and I know many women feel the same. However, what was enlightening was that the stumbling blocks women talked about when it came to money were exactly the same as those I had worked with in my weight loss hypnotherapy practice over the years.
The struggles, challenges, and underlying limiting beliefs that were holding women back from being their ideal weight, were exactly the same as those that were preventing women from managing and calling in the money they desired.
I'm sure you have heard the idea before that our outer world mirrors our inner world. If you are struggling to earn enough, if your relationships are difficult or you have excess weight that is getting you down, this is a reflection of something that is going on internally.
The results of my survey showed that the inner landscape of someone who is struggling to lose weight is very similar to someone who has a difficult relationship with money. The excess weight and lack of money are simply symptoms of the same unconscious blocks.
So, what are these stumbling blocks that can stop us from losing weight as well as enjoying financial abundance? Here are the top three of the most common, along with ways to overcome them.
1) Block One - Lack of self-belief
Just as we often have an ideal weight in our minds, many of us have an idea of the amount of money we would like to earn. We are encouraged to set goals in all areas of our lives, clear, specific, achievable goals. So we do. We write them down and then what? I wonder if you ever think, 'Okay, that's my goal, now how the hell do I get to it?'
Perhaps you then start to feel anxious about what steps to take? Maybe you start to beat yourself up that you are not taking any action and you have no idea what to actually do in order to reach you goal. In fact, you can feel downright scared!
When we feel this fear and anxiety, it's often because there is a little voice in the back of our mind saying, *'You can't do that!'*, *'Who do you think you are to try and be that weight/earn that much?'* and the classic, *'You're just not good enough'*. Any of those sound familiar?
As soon as that voice kicks in, we freeze. We might know exactly where we want to be, but we just don't believe we can get there. So a 'what's the point in trying?' attitude kicks in.
We just don't believe in ourselves. And if you don't truly believe you can achieve a particular goal, it's going to be darned hard work trying to get there.
Whether it's a particular weight or a certain amount of money we want, we need to believe we can do it.
If this resonates with you, what can you do to boost your self-belief?
Well, the first step is to recognise that critical voice when it starts kicking in. What exactly is it saying to you? Write down any limiting beliefs that are coming to mind. By writing them down, you are starting the process of getting them out of your head, reducing their power.
The second step is to release these old, limiting beliefs. There are many ways to do this, including hypnotherapy and EFT. However, if you don't have access to these therapies at the moment, you could hold a simple, symbolic ceremony and burn the piece of paper on which you have written your limiting beliefs. As the paper burns, put your hand on your heart and declare, 'I choose to release these old, outdated beliefs that no longer serve me'. (This might sound a bit woo-woo but believe me, this kind of releasing ceremony can be very powerful – just give it a go.)
Once you have released the old beliefs, it's time to decide which new thoughts and beliefs are going to support you as you move forwards. What positive statements and affirmations will build your belief and free you up to move towards your goals?
'I can do it!'
'I have all the resources within me to earn the income I desire.'
'I am good enough'
It's time to start installing these new beliefs. Write them down. Say them out loud as often as possible and repeat them in your mind whenever you can, especially first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
This process can take time and you may need to go back and work through the steps over again, but you are reprogramming your mind with self-belief.
Take action now: Take some time to think about a particular goal that's important to you. Visualise yourself achieving this goal, see yourself getting exactly what you want. As you do this, notice what thoughts come to mind. Are there any critical, negative beliefs that come up? Start with these and work through the three steps outlined above.
2) Block Two - Guilt and Shame
These are big ones! As women, many of us have feelings of guilt and shame around not being the way we want to be. Whether it's in terms of the way we look or the money we earn (or don't earn), it's almost as if we have been programmed to feel shameful and guilty.
Maybe we were told, *'Nice girls don't ask for more'*, so we feel guilty asking for the money we truly deserve.
Perhaps we feel shameful around out past behaviours and choices around money or food? In the same way that someone might binge eat in secret, maybe you have credit card debts or loans that you feel ashamed of?
Often we feel guilty about wanting more, whether that's in terms of more money or more self-care. We are told, that you shouldn't want more than enough, any more is a waste. So we manage on what we already have, we don't give ourselves what we truly need and deserve. We don't acknowledge our true, deep-down, desires.
We end up suppressing our feelings, scared to express ourselves, fearful of saying, *'I want that!'*, whatever *'that'* may be.
I wonder if you have feelings of guilt and shame around money? If you do, one of the best things you can do is let these feelings out.
How can you do this? I recommend either talking to a friend who will understand, becoming part of a supportive group, either online or in-person, or working with a mentor who will help you to release these feelings that can hold you back.
Once any guilt and shame is out in the open, once you express it, the feelings start to lose their power. They are only toxic when you hold them in.
Take action now: Are you holding onto guilt or shame around money? Take some time to journal your feelings and start to look for someone who can support you. It's important that you feel comfortable and safe with whoever you choose to share these feelings with, so start to explore your options and trust your instincts.
3) Block Three - Feeling overwhelmed
This is such a common feeling when it comes to either losing weight or managing our money.
Maybe your particular goal just feels too big? Perhaps you have no idea where to start?
When we are looking to make changes and work towards a specific outcome, we can sometimes click into anxiety and panic mode. When this happens, stress hormones can start to be released into our bodies. We feel under pressure and on edge. No wonder it feels difficult to move forwards and make the transformation we desire!
This feeling of overwhelm can result in procrastination. Although we have an idea of where we want to get to, it seems like there are too many steps in the way, so we find ourselves checking Facebook for the 10th time that day (sound familiar?)
Another method of self-sabotage is telling ourselves there's not enough time. I hear this so often (and I must admit, I find myself saying it at times!) When something is important to us, we can always find the time to do it. When we say, I just don't have the time, it's another way of saying, 'I'm overwhelmed, I don't know where to start and I'm going into panic mode!'
Take action now:Resolve to overcome this feeling of overwhelm. Begin by taking a deep breath and then start small. Set aside just 15 minutes a day and start taking the small steps that are going to make a big difference.
If you were trying to lose weight, you might use this 15 minutes to do some exercise. When it comes to money you could begin by finding out exactly where you are right now. Go through your paperwork (remember, just 15 minutes a day) and write down how much money you have, any debts you currently have and track the money that is coming in. Knowledge is power!
Create a plan of your next steps and use your daily 15 minutes to start moving forward.
When you commit to bitesize chunks of time, it feels so much more manageable than telling yourself you're going to spend a whole day or half-day on something.
Take action now: Grab your diary and schedule in your daily 15minutes – do it now! Write down some ideas for your small steps and plan them into your 15-minute slots of time. Commit to taking action.
Have any of these blocks particularly resonated with you? If so, comment below and let me know what action you plan to take. By taking the time to do this, you are sending a powerful message to your subconscious mind that you are committed to taking action.