Life Afterwards…
Without going too far into detail about my past, I can say that without a doubt it has been hard. Dealing with abuse, violence, body issues, weight gain, deep insecurities and massive amounts of physical and mental pain.
There were times I'd be tempted to throw it all away and end it. Those days are scary. When you read this now… Know that I am speaking to you – you on your phone, scrolling Facebook and coming across this article, you at your desk at work, at home, alone or just lonely…. I get it. I understand that confusion and pain that engulfs you like a fire, exposing your already sensitive state to a feeling of immense upset as something brushes against you. Something that may seem insignificant and small may hurt so deeply that it chips away another layer of this protective wall you build around yourself.
I had this too. The mask I'd put on to ensure everyone else I was okay. The wall I'd spent all of my time and energy projecting outside of myself to surround me like an invisible force field hoping it would stay as strong as I needed it to. Constantly mending, patching and maintaining it everyday countless times.
But the wall was not sustainable. It was built on a foundation of self denial and pain. When I was left exposed, naked and vulnerable I realised the only real power I have – is to be myself unapologetically.
We must learn that everything we need is in ourselves. Nothing we can lie about, think up and throw outwardly into a giant whirlwind of half truths and outright lies can protect us.
Saying ” I'm fine” when you're not is not protecting you, it's simply keeping you where you are.
Love yourself enough to unleash your unlimited power and resilience.
Simply by being you, honest, open, powerful and above all – released from the cage you unknowingly built around yourself.
About the author
Crazy-in-love Mum, Mental health advocate, cat enthusiast.
