Where Is The Hope During Heartbreak?
We’ve all been there. In bed for what seems like a lifetime, surrounded by tissues ingesting only nutrients that come from our go-to comfort foods while watching the sappiest of movies that we can find. We’ve all felt the hopelessness that follows a break-up. The worst part? It’s likely we will feel this way again unless we learn how to deal with the reasons beneath our heartbreak. How do you find the light when it feels like all hope is gone?
I’ve been there. A failed marriage left me in a deep state of nothingness. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t even want to go to work …until one day, I discovered an article written by Time Magazine about the restorative powers of the field of positive psychology. The truth is, in the moment heartbreak feels hopeless, but the light is there and hope is yours to grasp –if you’re willing to take action!
Contrary to what most believe, the first step to dealing with heartbreak is to determine what type of broken your heart is. That’s right, there are actually 4 different types of broken hearts! The type of relationship that has ended, the reason for the relationship ending and several other factors determine these varying forms of heartbreak. The most important step in healing any illness is to determine what type of illness is actually plaguing its host; heartbreak is no different. Once your type of broken heart has been determined it is very possible to take action to be, and feel like, a whole human being again!
The hope during heartbreak lies within ourselves! Sure, we can wait for time to heal our wounds, but how long do we really want to be sitting around waiting for time to do its thing? The power of Positive Psychology can be used to help us break away from the heartbreak of a failed relationship. No, this not pseudo-science! Positive Psychology emerged from traditional forms of psychology and psychologists began to ask the question: Instead of focusing on reducing negative emotions, what if we focus on increasing positive emotions? That’s powerful stuff right there. Increase the positive instead of focusing on the negative. Not just as a thought, but as a scientific strategy to promote techniques that increase joy, zest, gratitude, love, awe AND positive thought.
When I first began my journey with positive psychology I started to write a blog. Writing was an outlet for me; it was cathartic. My readers began replying to my posts shortly after I began writing them. They knew my pain. They wanted their hearts to be healed. I realized that I was able to use my knowledge of positive psychology and the techniques that I was using to help my readers to heal. I was and am a very private person; to maintain my privacy I chose a pen name. My readers know me by pen name –Amelie Chance. My real name, because now I realize and am comfortable with the fact that we all deal with brokenness at some point (and most of us at a few points) in our lives, is Renee Jain.
So, back to the initial question: Where is the hope during heartbreak? I’m sure you now realize, the answer is WITHIN YOU! You have the power to take action; it is not time that will heal our wounds it is ourselves. We can determine how our hearts are suffering and we can use positive psychology to rid our bodies of the heartbreak that has been plaguing and effecting our entire lives.
Start taking action today; your life is worth it.
So, this is me, Renee Jain. In a follow up series we’ll focus more on the “how’s” (tips, techniques, etc.) of positive psychology and how it can be applied immediately to begin the healing process.
About the author
Renee Jain is a best selling author, award winning entrepreneur, creator of HealMyBrokenHeart.com and several other highly success brands that focus on the use of positive psychology, including having coached 5000+ satisfied clients to their happiness.
