In Part I of The Balance Journey Series I told you how meditation helped me find my peace of mind and how leaving my ex-fiancé was one of the best decisions I ever made.
Not only did he love the idea of the wife I could be more than the girl I actually was, he also nourished my co-dependency, which I knew I had to put an end to if I wanted to be happy and healthy again.
After years of relationships with rather troubled people who were completely absorbed in their world of personal (childhood) drama, inferiority complexes, substance abuse or even criminal inclinations I was done being there for others only .
I was ready to find … ME!
I was decided to learn how to love … ME!
It was time to take care of MYSELF!
Don't get me wrong, I didn't venture out to become the world's most selfish bitch.
But I had grown up in a family where especially the women tended to work themselves in the ground for others, always putting their own needs last.
This had been my mantra all my life.
And this is simply not a healthy thing to do.
It is exhausting.
It is frustrating because often people take advantage of you.
And it completely deprives you of the very thing you need to create happiness in your life: your balance!
Self-love thus became another step of my journey and this was – sometimes still is – a pretty tough one.
The things is that, like so many people out there, I want to take care of my family. I want to be there for my friends.
And I want to provide extraordinary service to my clients.
To make sure I do not forget my own needs though, I follow some “rules”:
- I nourish my body with super healthy, simple and real food.
- I nourish my mind with daily visualization and meditation exercises.
- I take time to work out every day, even if it is just 20 minutes.
- No matter how busy I am, I take a break from my desk every two hours.
- I do all of my shopping online and have things delivered to my home, which allows me a little extra time just for myself.During this time, I pamper myself with for instance a DIY beauty recipe, a good book, a nice movie or other things that recharge my batteries. And I don't feel guilty about it!
- If I'm starting to lose balance, I prioritize. I cannot always put myself first, but household chores definitely come last!
- Every now and then, I get myself a present. Not because it's my birthday, but simply because I deserve it.
- I teach my kids that Mums do not always want to play. Sometimes Mums just want to sit and do nothing. (I also tell my husband that women do not always want to cook).
- I repeat to myself that it is ok to “take” without always giving something back right away.
- I set boundaries: if I really do not want to do something I will tell people so.
I admit I still haven't completely mastered the art of self-love but like I said: it is a tough one for those who were brought up as “givers” rather than “takers”.
However, practice makes perfect and in my next piece I will tell you why it is also important to realize that change simply takes a little time.
Let me know what you do to take care of yourself!
