I used to think that you have to be pretty, slim, witty and smart to succeed in life: find the partner of your dreams, a job you really love and genuine happiness.

Of course, a great education and good looks don't hurt. But do know what I feel makes the biggest difference between people who are genuinely happy and successful and those who are not?

Their VIBE! That certain something which no one can explain but which is so incredibly attractive.

Fifteen years ago I wasn't even sure whether I theoretically had what it takes to build a life I love. I suffered from depression, an eating disorder, co-dependency and bacteriophobia.

Every single day I told myself things such as: “I'm fat. I'm weak. I will never find a decent man and be happy.”

Overcoming my health issues and my poor self-image was a huge challenge.

But I did it!

Today I'm healthier and happier than I have ever been and I also found my very own je ne sais quoi.

This is how:

1. I forced myself to think about my “super hero qualities”

Although my self-esteem was pretty much non-existent as a young woman, I one day sat down to make a list of all the things I DID like about myself.
Not being used to think about my strengths, this was quite a difficult exercise. However, the list I put together was longer than I had expected:

• I'm a great listener.
• I have a talent for learning foreign languages.
• People say they love my voice.
• I can cook great meals without a recipe.
• I'm very creative.

I probably had already known deep inside that there were things I really could be proud of – but it was only when I wrote them down that they became real.

2. I thought about my ultimate goal in life

It doesn't take a genius to understand that we'll always get the same results by doing the same things. However, breaking old behavior patterns is incredibly hard.
Looking for a way to do exactly that I defined my ultimate goal in life: What exactly did I want to have, achieve, feel, look like, ooze…?
Through visualizing this goal vividly every single day, I became determined to get out of my misery.

3. I thought big but started small

Because I had already failed so many times, I knew I had to break down my ultimate goal into small and realistic interim goals.

So far I had always tried to do everything fast. Dive right in and go at full speed.

This worked in the beginning – but after a while I always ended up frustrated and exhausted.

Because overwhelm kills our motivation!

To make sure this wouldn't happen again, I split my big goal into small weekly goals, always asking myself:

On a scale of 1 to 10, how certain am I that I can achieve this goal this week?

If I thought that a 10, 9 or 8 were realistic, I knew I was right on track. If I detected any self-doubts, I simply adjusted my goal until I saw a big: “YES, I CAN DO THAT!” right in front of me.

I cannot tell you how good achieving one goal after the other felt!

4. I visualized vividly every single day

Whatever goal I set for myself, I made it a habit to picture myself achieving it. Every single day I started and ended thinking about what I was going to accomplish next.

I got out of and into bed feeling like a champ, slowly rewiring my subconscious. And my reality started to change!

5. I kept a track record

Don't get me wrong – even though things were really starting to get better, I still had crappy days when that nasty little voice in my head tried to “pull me back in.”

But just because we are born to fail every now and then, it doesn't mean we're born failures!
Whenever something didn't work out, I chose not to let this stand between me and my happiness. Instead I went back to the drawing board, tapped into my creative visualization potential and defined new action steps.

Also, I went through my lists of everything I had achieved so far which made it crystal clear to me:
I was a super hero already!

That's how I found it. My very own je ne sais quoi, which raised my energetic vibe to a level where almost everything I attract is genuinely positive and which helped me achieve more than I would ever have dreamed of.

Let me know in the comments what makes you proud of yourself and what your goal is for this week!