OK, don’t worry this isn’t a step towards modern day sexism and it’s not a call for women to “get in the kitchen” either. It’s a look at why if you want to run a business and have a successful marriage you need to ensure that your husband is there on the journey with you, without his support – you’re putting your marriage and your business at risk.
Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff
Now, when I say you need to “ask for your husband’s permission,” I don’t mean all the time. That’s not healthy and implies that you are taking a back seat in your relationship and that your husband is in charge.
What I mean is that you want to discuss the big things in your world with your husband. So, he doesn’t need an overview of a minor staffing problem or the differences in seasonal stock (unless, of course, he can add value to these things) but rather the big decisions that will have an impact on both your lives.
Why You Ask For Permission
Asking your husband for permission on the big things doesn’t make you subservient in your relationship. It means you acknowledge that your relationship is an important part of your life and that you don’t want your business to interfere with that.
These are the reasons to ask permission before taking life altering business decisions:
• It’s respectful. Would you be happy if your husband took out a $100,000 loan without consulting you about it? Of course not. So, when you show the same level of respect in turn, you establish that your relationship is about equals. Equals who know that you may not have the exact same desires in life at any given moment.
• It reduces conflict. How would you react if your husband had taken out a $100,000 loan without asking? Not well, right? What if you discovered that loan was secured against your home or your business? You’d be even more angry. Conflict arises in relationships when we take unilateral action without involving the other partner. It shows you understand that your partner in life has feelings and emotions and that you are concerned with them. And when you take a big decision together, nobody points fingers if something goes wrong later.
• It feels empowering. When you consult each other in a marriage; you don’t feel bad – you feel better. A relationship where only one of you ask about big decisions is unhealthy but one in which you both work together on the big stuff? It’s awesome. You know that you are supported and cared for in your choices and vice-versa. This is how marriages become strong.
• It makes for better decisions. They say “two heads are better than one” for a reason. Your partner will see angles that you do not and may be able to see risks that you have missed. When two people consider a problem, it means better answers at the end of the process. Seeking your husband’s input in your business makes use of his best qualities to complement yours.
• It stops you from growing apart. Many marriages end when a partner feels that they’ve lost track of the other. This doesn’t happen when you ask permission of your partner for the big stuff, they always know where you are, they are always involved, and you can’t grow apart.
Asking permission from your husband even when it’s “your business” means that you recognise a marriage is a partnership and that it requires some work to keep it healthy. It also means you can benefit from your husband’s best qualities. It doesn’t mean playing second fiddle to your man.