The New Year is an opportunity to consider the endless possibilities that lie before us. For many, it is a time to set goals and reflect on what are the possibilities for change. Most people think about weight loss, making more money or starting new ventures. Very seldom do we think about opportunities to invest in our emotional well-being and relational life.
Relationships are critical to our success. No matter what we try to achieve, our relationships can either help or hinder our ability to make the progress that we desire. If you are trying to lose weight, having accountability partners can assist in making this goal a reality. Starting a business requires relationships with potential partners or even creating a team that can catch your vision. The list is endless of how our lives are constantly filled with interactions with others. The tricky part is making sure that we are building authentic relationships that help us achieve our goals. In order to build those high quality connections that can make a difference, we must be willing to get to know what messages we send to others about ourselves.
The term capital usually denotes money or equipment. Our relationships are a form of capital and even our emotional well-being can contribute to the building of our relationships. There are many types of capital: financial, human, social, cultural and psychological. Psychological capital is defined by (Luthans et al., 2007b:3) as “(1) having confidence (self-efficacy) to take on and put in the necessary effort to succeed at challenging tasks; (2) making a positive reference (optimism) about succeeding now and in the future; (3) persevering toward goals and, when necessary, redirecting paths to goals (hope) in order to succeed; and (4) when beset by problems and adversity, sustaining and bouncing back and even beyond (resilience) to attain success”.
As you build relationships, think about the story that you tell about yourself. What is it that you say about your dreams, your desires? Are you portraying a story of strength or one of despair?
When you deal with challenges, how do you describe the obstacles — as success or defeat? Your story can contribute to not only how you feel about yourself, how others see you but in the achievement of moving toward your desired outcomes. Think about your life and your relationships — have there been times that your confidence made a difference? What about the support of others in your life? Think about your outlook. Are you optimistic? Do you have individuals in your life who help you in being positive when things are not going so well? Or do you have too many individuals who remind you of how bad your life is? Even when things are not going so well, do you have hope? How does your story share hope and resilience even in the midst of adversity?
If you don’t have individuals in your life that contribute to your emotional well-being, it is time to reflect and begin to bring new energy into your circle. Is it possible that your story is contributing to this? I remember years ago meeting an amazing speaker and when I asked why I had not met him before, he reminded me that I wasn’t ready for him. I took it as arrogance but what he was saying was that I did not believe that I could meet someone like him. When I changed the way I saw my self and stopped telling the story of inadequacies but of unlimited opportunities, I began to attract those possibilities to my world. I am a firm believer that when the student is ready, the teacher will arrive. It doesn’t mean that you create lies but it does mean evaluating your perspective.
The New Year is a time to really reflect and think about what is important.
Invest in yourself and become more intentional and deliberate about your relationships. This is a wonderful chance to get ready and attract the life you desire–by changing the way you see yourself, re-evaluating your life narrative, and building relationships that matter as you build your emotional well-being.