New Year Possibilities
The New Year is an opportunity to consider the endless possibilities that lie before us. For many, it is a time to set goals and reflect on what are the possibilities for change. Most people think about weight loss, making more money or starting new ventures. Very seldom do we think about opportunities to invest in our emotional well-being and relational life.
Relationships are critical to our success. No matter what we try to achieve, our relationships can either help or hinder our ability to make the progress that we desire. If you are trying to lose weight, having accountability partners can assist in making this goal a reality. Starting a business requires relationships with potential partners or even creating a team that can catch your vision. The list is endless of how our lives are constantly filled with interactions with others. The tricky part is making sure that we are building authentic relationships that help us achieve our goals. In order to build those high quality connections that can make a difference, we must be willing to get to know what messages we send to others about ourselves.
The term capital usually denotes money or equipment. Our relationships are a form of capital and even our emotional well-being can contribute to the building of our relationships. There are many types of capital: financial, human, social, cultural and psychological. Psychological capital is defined by (Luthans et al., 2007b:3) as “(1) having confidence (self-efficacy) to take on and put in the necessary effort to succeed at challenging tasks; (2) making a positive reference (optimism) about succeeding now and in the future; (3) persevering toward goals and, when necessary, redirecting paths to goals (hope) in order to succeed; and (4) when beset by problems and adversity, sustaining and bouncing back and even beyond (resilience) to attain success”.
As you build relationships, think about the story that you tell about yourself. What is it that you say about your dreams, your desires? Are you portraying a story of strength or one of despair?
When you deal with challenges, how do you describe the obstacles — as success or defeat? Your story can contribute to not only how you feel about yourself, how others see you but in the achievement of moving toward your desired outcomes. Think about your life and your relationships — have there been times that your confidence made a difference? What about the support of others in your life? Think about your outlook. Are you optimistic? Do you have individuals in your life who help you in being positive when things are not going so well? Or do you have too many individuals who remind you of how bad your life is? Even when things are not going so well, do you have hope? How does your story share hope and resilience even in the midst of adversity?
If you don’t have individuals in your life that contribute to your emotional well-being, it is time to reflect and begin to bring new energy into your circle. Is it possible that your story is contributing to this? I remember years ago meeting an amazing speaker and when I asked why I had not met him before, he reminded me that I wasn’t ready for him. I took it as arrogance but what he was saying was that I did not believe that I could meet someone like him. When I changed the way I saw my self and stopped telling the story of inadequacies but of unlimited opportunities, I began to attract those possibilities to my world. I am a firm believer that when the student is ready, the teacher will arrive. It doesn’t mean that you create lies but it does mean evaluating your perspective.
The New Year is a time to really reflect and think about what is important.
Invest in yourself and become more intentional and deliberate about your relationships. This is a wonderful chance to get ready and attract the life you desire–by changing the way you see yourself, re-evaluating your life narrative, and building relationships that matter as you build your emotional well-being.
About the author
Dr. Froswa' Booker-Drew
Partnership Broker and Relational Leadership junkie. Connector. Author. Speaker. Trainer. Co-Founder, HERitage Giving Circle.
Froswa' Booker-Drew, PhD is a Network Weaver who believes relationships are the key to our personal, professional and organizational growth. She has been quoted and profiled in Forbes, Ozy, Bustle, Huffington Post and other media outlets, due to an extensive background in leadership, nonprofit management, partnership development, training and education. She is currently the Vice President of Community Affairs for the State Fair of Texas. Formerly the National Community Engagement Director for World Vision, she served as a catalyst, partnership broker, and builder of the capacity of local partners in multiple locations across the US to improve and sustain the well-being of children and their families.
She was a part of the documentary, Friendly Captivity, a film that follows a cast of 7 women from Dallas to India. She is the recipient of several honors including semi-finalist for the SMU TED Talks in 2012, 2012 Outstanding African American Alumni Award from the University of Texas at Arlington, 2009 Woman of the Year Award by Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. and was awarded Diversity Ambassador for the American Red Cross. Froswa’ graduated with a PhD from Antioch University in Leadership and Change with a focus on social capital, diverse women and relational leadership. She attended the Jean Baker Miller Institute at Wellesley for training in Relational Cultural Theory and has completed facilitator training on Immunity to Change based on the work of Kegan and Lahey of Harvard. She has also completed training through UNICEF on Equity Based Evaluations. She is the author of 2 workbooks for women, Ready for a Revolution: 30 Days to Jolt Your Life and Rules of Engagement: Making Connections Last. Froswa’ was a workshop presenter at the United Nations in 2013 on the Access to Power. She was a Post Doctoral Fellow at Antioch University and an adjunct at the University of North Texas-Dallas. She is a contributor for several publications around the world including as an advice columnist for professional women in Business Woman Media.
