Do you struggle making decisions? Do you regularly second guess yourself and find yourself to-ing and fro-ing between options? Do find yourself waking up at ridiculous hours, head swimming with niggling doubts and thoughts that refuse to be silenced like a stubborn itch that rejects being relieved? If, even after in-depth consultations with your peeps and exhausting your list of pros and cons, that all important decision and the peace of mind that comes with it still eludes you, then read on.
Decision making is a bit of an art and not one that many of us are particularly good at.
We struggle with decision making for a few reasons. Firstly we’ve never been taught how. I don’t know about you but I don’t remember decision making being taught at school or even at home, unless of course you were perceived to be making a wrong one.
Another reason we suck at decision making is that we’ve been taught to think our way through our choices. Of course thinking is a great skill (try living without it) but it’s not the only skill we have and sometimes our over thinking is the very problem behind our inability to decide.
Yet another reason we ho-hum our way through the murky waters of decision making is fear.
We’re fearful of making the wrong choice, because we’re scared to make mistakes. We see them as weak, as an indication that we lack savvy and because we’re so preoccupied with how we will look if it all goes wrong, we miss the fact that decisions are rarely set in stone, and that they are actually great learning opportunities, which one way or the other teach us exactly what we need to know. Ironically we will always learn more from a bad decision than a good one.
Another biggy is that we fail to take the time to realise our desired outcome.
Without a clear picture of what it is that we’re trying to achieve, it can be impossible to make a decision because we have literally no idea as to whether we’re heading in the right direction or not. For example, if your outcome is that you want to travel and you need more funds, then the decision to take that higher paying job, even though it’s not what you feel you were born to do is perhaps a good one. Why? Because it gets you closer to your end goal of travel. If on the other hand, your outcome is to become a master of your craft and learn everything there is to know about your chosen profession, you may be better staying where you are, or finding a suitable role, which although may pay less, the rewards will be higher, again because it is in alignment with your desired outcome.
Perhaps one of the biggest reasons however for our struggle is our lack of trust within ourselves and our disconnection from our intuitive wisdom.
When we feel connected to ourselves and trust our intuition decision making becomes not only easy, but enjoyable – imagine that! Meditating is probably one of the most underused and under-rated decision making tools on the planet, but for some that too is a struggle, so here’s 5 easy steps to get you deciding faster so that you can get back to a peaceful night’s sleep and reap the benefits of some good ole decision making.
- Be grateful for your options – having options is wonderful and a luxury that many are not afforded. They should be celebrated! Yay for you and your options!! It’s worth noting here that if you think you don’t have any options remember you will always have at least two – do something, or do nothing (yes doing nothing is an option!) The key however isn’t so much to be grateful for having any options per se, it’s more to be grateful for having the specific options that you have.[Tweet “There’s a big difference between “thank god I’ve got options” and “thank you god for these options.” “]The problem with the former is that it reeks of desperation and lack by implying that you’re lucky to have any options at all. Thinking along the lines of lack creates a vibration of fear which only serves to attract, yep more fear and more lack. The latter however attracts neither, because it’s a vibration of pure gratitude and conveys a notion of trust that you will continue to be blessed with good options. Amen.
- Get out of your head and into your body – If you’ve exhausted the thinking aspect of your decision making and still nothing then this is a sure sign to engage something other than your brain. Give your poor head a rest and allow your focus to turn inwards to your body. After a couple of deep breaths, what you’re looking for here are any sensations that you might feel when you consider each option. Ask yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 how peaceful do you feel inside as you consider each choice. Be on the lookout for any stomach churning, chest tightening, and feelings in your throat etc., basically any subtle discomfort that will give you a hint as to whether or not this is a good decision for you. Ask the discomfort if it has a message for you and patiently wait to see what comes through. Deep down you know more than you think!
- Surrender – this might sound like you’re giving up or giving in but trust me it’s something different entirely. Surrendering is a powerful state of being because it’s built upon trust and a vibration of trust is a very powerful vibration to hold. Because like attracts like, your vibration of trust will attract a trustworthy experience. Surrendering is the letting go of all resistance, worry and concern – which, before you defend your right to be worried about something so important, is of course doing absolutely nothing to help the process along – quite the opposite. Hand it over to the universe and send forth the intention that you will trust the decision you make to be the right one, supported in all ways, by all things.
- Use an affirmation – hell why not, you’ve been telling yourself you’re crap at decision making for years and let’s face it, it’s worked! Time to try reversing the damage and kick that old self-defeating story to the kerb and replace it with this: “I make awesome decisions, effortlessly.” I feel empowered just typing these words, think how you’re going to feel saying them daily. And repeat!
- Stop taking life so seriously – yes, I know that there are many decisions that are important and thus serious, but life doesn’t cease to be fun when it’s serious, any more that it ceases to be serious when it’s fun. Just for a few hours, or even minutes, let yourself off the hook and go do something fun, something that will make you laugh, something that will distract you just long enough for that beautiful little nugget of wisdom to find a clear passage through and let you know exactly what you should be doing.
Decision making really doesn’t need to be that hard. We over-complicate it, and when we learn to let go and trust ourselves and life just a little bit more, we will always be rewarded. And even if we stumble and make what we consider to be the wrong decision, (which may not even exist given that there is perfection in all things), we will always stand to learn a valuable lesson along the way which will only serve to help us make a different decision next time.
Happy decision making – now go get ‘em!