As the holidays approached last year I was on top of the world. Everything seemed bright and cheery. When one morning I woke up and the world started to crumble. Was it a specific event or a conflict?
Nope, it was life that threw me for a loop. I had a mindset meltdown. The previous September I'd found myself a brilliant coach. A slight adjustment on my path and loads of enthusiasm.
Well this is what I can tell you. Got caught up in the emotional roller coaster from HELL. It brought me to my knees. All of my insecurities came tumbling out. The biggest one was the charming little voice in my head saying I can’t do it and I am just wasting my time.
Just when I thought I was coming off the roller coaster, the crying started, the heart wrenching tears of not knowing what the hell is wrong.
Then I figured it out.
Here is the kicker, I have a daily ritual. Except while I was in the awesomeness of “everything is going great”. I did not make the time for it. I became disconnected from myself and my mission. So disconnected it took me a while to realize it and of course the universe came by with the 2×4.
What scared me was all of a sudden, I did not want to have any silence at all. That should have been a flashing red light that something was out of whack but instead I made the TV louder. Well, my inside meter was on….. lost my way, my guides, the universe ( whatever name you use for it) screamed I WANT OUT!!! I spent the last two weeks of the year in misery mode. Of course, you really have no reason except for the sadness, anger and disappointment that life just SUCKS.
I also realized I alienated myself from everyone, including my poor hubby. Lost my passion for everything and was going through the motions. I was at Christmas parties with a vacant stare and praying nobody saw how lost I was. You see I didn’t roll down the hill of misery, I jumped off and slid all the way down on a tire at super speed. Faster than a speeding bullet. It happens to all of us. It's what we do when we realize this is what is going on that counts.
I reached out to old friends and new ones. ASKED for help. And started on my rituals again. I write in my journal in the morning, which helps me create my day. Then I meditate at least twice and that could mean just 5 minutes of quiet time. I put myself first. At the end of the day I write again in a gratitude journal or just what my thoughts are for the day. I am also looking to start doing yoga exercise again. I am taking baby steps. Moment by moment to get back on track and focus on my vision. I am making an effort to do this daily, the benefits are amazing and it keeps me connected to myself and focused on what I really want in my life.
If you do not have a ritual, it is time for one. Don’t let fear of spending time by yourself stop you! Don’t make the TV louder like I did.
IF you are finding yourself in the midst of an emotional breakdown, sign up and get my Badass Guide to getting off the emotional roller-coaster and walk the path with me.