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Are people selling you snake oil?

Are people selling you snake oil?

You only have to look at the explosion of the coaching and mentoring industry to see the number of women that are teaching women how to be feminine. The metaphoric snake oil!

It is a grey area at best as it is sexist and a dangerous way of marketing. It is based on making women feel inadequate. This is how it goes…

  • You don’t have a man…you aren’t feminine enough.
  • You don’t have a successful business…you are probably acting like a man
  • You can’t manifest…well you are trying to use your masculine energy, so that is why…
  • Whatever you don’t like about your life is because you aren’t feminine enough…

What is more painful than to tell women who are vulnerable, low in self-esteem, struggling and with very little confidence that all their ‘problems’ lie in the fact that they are not feminine enough.

This, women and men, is the biggest travesty in our modern times for women. Women are telling women they are not feminine enough.

Hello…I will say that again, women are telling women they are not feminine enough.

What is that about?

Selling pain, fear, inadequacy….and beating those who you claim have already been beaten by the opposite sex…?

This is simply lack consciousness and to tell others they aren’t enough is keeping them trapped in lack!

I am not deliberately flippant here but it does make my jaw drop and sometimes makes me laugh out loud when I hear what people are claiming is ‘wrong’ with women, especially when it is said by another woman.

The spirituality of feminine and masculine energy…

Feminine and masculine are two energies that are in balance, despite what you are being told and sold. They are indeed like two poles, the North and South and if they weren’t in balance the planet and us would be in deep trouble. Feminine and masculine energies are the same within us, man or woman, they are in balance.

Of course we may access these energies at different times and that is a personal choice. Yet it would be impossible as a woman to shut down the masculine energy. You can keep denying it however and be confused about it and then all you are doing is making yourself wrong, even if someone else’s marketing has contributed…when you make yourself wrong you are in lack!

When you make yourself wrong you are telling yourself you are not enough. When you are experiencing this mindset and energy you are not appreciating you and when you are not appreciating you, it is impossible to value yourself. When you can’t value yourself you are not powerful, you are not able to attract or move through limitations as you operate from an energy of not being enough AKA lack and fear of not being enough!

There is no divine template for how a woman or man should be, so those who claim to teach you how to be in business as women, or how to bag that man and unleash your femininity might as well be peddling air.

Yet those who suggest they can teach you how to be powerful, confident and successful as you – and not according to a judgement of what they have learned, probably from someone else – are the ones who are going to support you the best.

Women…you are feminine because you are a woman and you choose to do it your way. Your way will be different to mine and someone else’s, but that is because you are unique.

If consistent success, prosperity and abundance are missing in your life and business, then that has something to do with your power, your self-esteem and how you value yourself and your process for responding to fear. It has nothing to do with the fact you aren’t feminine enough.

What do you think? Do you disagree? Do you agree?

Or has this article made something pop for you that in truth you are completely enough, in this moment as you always have been and always will be. That for me is the platform that your success will come from, not when you are being made to feel confused about how lacking you are as a woman…that is an example of painful and harmful selling!

Instead of working on being feminine look instead at how you can be more powerful in your life.

That is the work of your soul and the New Paradigm. 

Sarupa Shah

Sarupa Shah is an award winning intuitive business coach and the owner and founder of The Soul Agency. The Soul Agency works with women entrepreneurs and leaders across the globe who want to put soul and spirit back into their life and the world. Her passion and power is to show women how to heal their relationship with money, discover their life purpose and get on with living the dream. Sarupa’s is a published author of the no.1 best seller – The Art of Affirmations and Heart Centered Entrepreneur (both available on Kindle via Amazon)

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  1. Jane Hatton

    I so agree with this Sarupa – people are people, each with our own unique blend of skills, talents and personality traits. Whether or not we are successful will depend on a whole range of factors – circumstances, background, knowledge, luck, skills, upbringing – but how feminine we are (or aren’t) will have very little bearing.

    I don’t feel the need to hide my femininity (I’m proud of it), but I do feel the need to use my skills to the best of my ability. And that is what I should be judged on – not how girlie I might or might not be!

    • Sarupa Shah

      Indeed…and sadly people think by voicing the fact that being girlie which is effectively what some people suggest is what women should be but they dress it up a different way…and if you don’t agree you are anti-women…it is sad that there is such a desire to control women…be who you be…and reclaim your power through that not through inadequacy-mongering by those that which you tell you that you are not enough… thanks for commenting Jane x

  2. Lindy Asimus

    This stuff bugs me. Preying on the insecure is just the most appalling behaviour. And there is far far too much of it. I don’t know what is worse – peddling this nonsense or those peddling it who actually believe they are doing something “valuable” as they damage these people and fleece them.

    • Sarupa Shah

      Yes and sadly some do it without consciousness i.e. understanding and some do it because they think that is the way to help others and some simply do it as it gives them power…neither is excusable…and woman, or man, whatever your situation the premise to create any transformation from is that you are enough and you have a choice to be more, not you are not enough and maybe I can teach you to be more….! Thanks for commenting Lindy, appreciate your thoughts being shared…

  3. AnnGodridge

    It is very disturbing the way this not-so-subtle undermining of confidence has spread, isn’t it? Bad enough when it was simply part of the constant media background telling women they weren’t good enough in one way or another. I suppose it comes out of a sales techniques background which advises that the customer must feel the pain. It doesn’t seem quite ethical, though.

    There is a long tradition of gurus and self development based on the idea that you have to tear people down and break their egos, before they can be “authentically” themselves. I’ve always found that really rather creepy, not to mention downright dangerous.

    Thanks Sarupa, for a thought provoking post.

    • Sarupa Shah

      It is dangerous…and this is the, grow through pain paradigm that is just so pointless, why not grow through love…that is the sure start way to create abundance and focus on peace and inspire people to be the best they can… Thanks Ann for your comments… 🙂

  4. Sarah Arrow

    I can understand why people do it, but I don’t like it. Perhaps that’s why I’m not as successful as I could be? I prefer to have my clients as human beings and not needy and unable to function as they feel so inadequate!

  5. Victoria Morrison

    Yes, empowering women (all people!) is the way to go – and acceptance is a huge part of that – and that includes SELF-acceptance. None of the women I work with is wrong or bad and they (we) all express ourselves in different ways. I consciously “work” on self-acceptance everyday. Just another of those things we were no doubt born with that we gave away (or perhaps it was taken) that we then our spend time getting back!

  6. Tracey

    Easy to understand why more and more women are leaving the corporate world in search of something “better” where we can be our authentic, beautiful selves.


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