It doesn’t happen often but sometimes we have to make decisions that turn our lives upside down. Several years ago, I realized I had to make a life changing decision and at times I found myself gripped with shear terror.

In those moments of fear, self-doubt would creep in. Was I really making the right decision? Couldn’t I just change my mind because it was easier just to go back to the way things were where it was familiar and safe?

It felt like I was standing at the edge of a cliff with nothing but blackness before me. Following through with my decision meant I’d be taking a big leap off that cliff with no idea what would happen after I jumped off. I knew with my whole heart that I was making the right decision, so I jumped off…and flew. And, you can too.

Here are 4 ways you can ensure that you take that leap of faith and transform your life.

1. Build your self worth to believe in yourself.

I set the forces in motion towards my life changing decision when I realized I felt like I was a shell of a person doing the motions of life. I felt a depression begin to settle down like a fog because of it.

I decided I needed to build my sense of self worth to find myself again. I focused on my strengths and the qualities I valued in myself. By spending several months using my strengths and positive qualities to counteract any self-defeating thoughts, the depression receded and I felt more alive.

Believing that you are valuable and that you deserve a happy life is at the core of having the strength to make those life-changing decisions. If you don’t believe in your worth, then the self doubt that will inevitably surface when you’re in the midst of your life changing decision will eat you up and make you give up. And, then you’ll find yourself back at square one.

However, if you believe in yourself and know that you are valuable, you have the strength to not listen to that inevitable little voice in your head that will tell you it’s not possible.

2. Be open to solutions that may go against society and things you thought you’d never do.

Several months after I started feeling more confident and full of life, I came home from work to my preschooler having one of his usual melt downs. I looked at his unhappy little face and realized that if I got a divorce, I might be making his life better.

You see, my parents divorced when I was 12, and I had vowed back then that I would never get one, especially after I had kids. I had been willing to change myself and lose myself in the process just to avoid getting a divorce. But in that moment when I looked at my crying son, I realized that changing our lives might give him a happier childhood.

When life isn’t going the way you wanted, it takes letting go all of your preconceived notions and opening yourself up to the possibilities that lay before you. Sometimes, the right decision is the toughest one to make.

3. Listen to your instincts

Your instincts will rarely fail you. If you’re open to possibilities and you tune into yourself, you’ll find your instincts kicking in for major life decisions. In the time it took to tell my then husband I wanted a divorce and actually move out, my moments of fear led to self-doubt. But I was able to stay true to my decision and take that leap of faith even though I had no idea what lay on the other side because my instincts told me I was making the right decision. It’s a visceral feeling, in the pit of your stomach that says, “Yes, really, that’s what you need to do.”

4. Be true to yourself

When you value yourself, you know what you want and what’s important to you. It makes it easier to listen to your instincts and it gives you the strength to make the tough decisions that others may not approve of. Only you know what’s in your best interest, especially if you’re really in-tune to yourself.

As I looked into the abyss before me and took that big jump when I left my ex-husband, I did it because I knew my son and I were worth a better life and that my instincts were never wrong. And I discovered, in being true to myself I spread my wings and soared.

About the author

Jenny Ellis

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Jenny Ellis, Ph.D. is trained in psychology from Stanford University and is an entrepreneur dedicated to helping women of all ages build self-esteem and confidence. Throughout her life, Jenny has turned life challenges into learning opportunities and built her own self-esteem, which transformed her life. Now, she is using her experiences to create programs that help other women. Inspire Me 2 Aspire is an online mentoring program for female teens and Love Your True Reflection is a blog where women of all ages can get tips and coaching on building self-esteem and confidence.
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