As a mother-of-two who hit rock bottom, had her children terrified of her, and who was virtually unrecognisable in the mirror … I understand intimately the desire to enjoy abundance while struggling with the reality of feeling anything but.
In fact, it's why I ditched what I was doing and became an expert in female head talk.
I needed it for me and I needed to help others like me because to be honest, no one knows the real struggles within … particularly when women so actively chase the ‘abundant lifestyle’ but feel and think the opposite.
In 2012 I was an avid follower and participant of the Law of Attraction. I spent hours journaling, repeating mantra’s and trying to convince myself that I was worthy of abundance.
And yet I was miserable. I felt like a fake and a fraud. It seemed the more I tried the less abundant I became. Despite my best effort to change my beliefs, I just couldn’t fully accept that abundance was available and inevitable.
It’s common advice that to receive abundance, we need to achieve a state of gratitude – that being thankful for life is the key to receiving.
But to ‘feel grateful’ was the hardest thing for me to achieve, because every single time I would write down or think “I am grateful for….” there would be a tiny voice in my head that would reply with “No you’re not. You’re hating this right now!”
That inner voice was right.
And the voice was the very reason why I was struggling with an abundant life.
You see what no one is talking about when it comes to abundance is the very reason why so many women are on the roundabout of striving for, but never being able to receive abundance.
If there is a negative response, reply or thought for every grateful step you take towards abundance, the self- talk is going to win. This is particularly true for women, as almost every thought we have is connected to an emotion that fuels our reality.
So, when you’re saying, “I’m grateful for my life” and your inner voice responds with “but I wish things were different” that ‘But voice’ leaves you feel down, stressed or unhappy.
When you say, “I’m grateful the kids are happy and healthy” and your inner voice responds with “but I wish it was easier”, your head talk causes you to feel guilt, shame or anger.
And when you say, “I’m grateful for my paycheck” and your inner reply is “but I hate my job” you are left feeling dissatisfied, unfulfilled and unappreciated.
All the emotions that you are feeling when you hear your inner voice is what is stopping you from being in a state of abundance.
You see, women have an inner story for almost every action. And we have an emotion for every story. And while ever that story exists, there is an emotional charge further fuelling life experiences and subtracting for your ability to be abundant.
So what do we do to get into a state of receiving abundance? We need to address the cause of what’s going on, which for us ladies, is what we are feeling. And it starts with blowing a balloon….
What are you feeling? When you consider what is going on in your life, what you are thinking about and what does it make you feel?
Close your eyes – where do you feel that feeling in your body? What colour is that feeling that you experience in your body?
With your eyes closed, imagine a deflated balloon in the colour of your feeling. Now take 3 deep breathes in – with each inhale, bring the emotion from where it lives in your body, into your breath, and then exhale it into the balloon. SEE the balloon get more and more full of emotion with each breath.
POP the balloon. Now that the emotion has been moved from the body, to the balloon that was then popped, feel back into the body. Where has your emotion gone? How does it feel now?
Refocus. Consider your life – what do you appreciate about what you have right now? What can you do to allow for more of that space to show up in your life?
When women can get out of their heads and neutralise the emotional charge that fuels their thoughts, they can boost their mindset, their focus and their actions in an instant which in turns opens up a much more receptive state of abundance.
Editor's note: Check out our recent podcast interview with Bree, where she talks about how to handle our head-talk.