The Importance of Having An Escape Plan (even if you don’t need it)
Why Every Woman Needs Her Own Emergency Fund
Let’s be real: love is great, but financial security is better. No one enters a relationship expecting it to turn sour, but the truth is, many women find themselves stuck in situations they desperately want to leave — simply because they don’t have the financial means to do so.
This is why having your own emergency fund isn’t just a nice-to-have — it’s a must-have. It’s about freedom, choices, and ensuring that if things go south, you can walk away on your own terms. And let’s be clear — sometimes, a relationship simply runs its course. Even if there’s no risk of violence, having your own money ensures you can leave when you decide the time is right, without being financially trapped.
The Trap of Financial Dependence
Relying solely on a partner for financial support can create an imbalance of power. Women, in particular, are more likely to take career breaks for caregiving, earn less due to the gender pay gap, or trust a partner to manage finances. This can make leaving a bad situation feel impossible.
It’s a fact: two of the most dangerous times in an abusive relationship are when a woman becomes pregnant and when she is preparing to leave.[1] These are moments when financial and safety plans are critical. But even in relationships that don’t involve abuse, financial dependence can make separation unnecessarily complicated and drawn-out.
Unfortunately, there is a growing movement pushing young women toward financial dependence under the guise of a so-called “ideal” lifestyle. The TradWife Movement™ romanticizes the idea of full financial reliance on a husband, selling the illusion that a woman's best role is to stay home and be provided for. While there is nothing wrong with choosing a traditional lifestyle, the danger lies in not having an independent safety net should life take an unexpected turn. The message here is simple: No matter your choices, always have a financial plan of your own.
Safety Tip: If you’re considering leaving, make an escape plan in advance. Pack essentials like cash, important documents, and a prepaid phone. Consider reaching out to a domestic violence organization for advice on how to do this safely.[2]
The Power of Having Your Own Money
An emergency fund provides independence and peace of mind. Here’s why it’s non-negotiable:
- Security for the unexpected – A financial cushion to cover rent, food, and transport while you regain stability.
- Empowerment through choice – Knowing you have the option to leave (or stay on your own terms) is incredibly powerful.
- Clarity in decision-making – Without the stress of financial instability, you can make choices based on what’s best for you, not out of fear.
- Protection from falling into another bad situation – Financial desperation can lead to another harmful relationship. Your own funds give you breathing room to make thoughtful decisions.
- Freedom to leave even when there’s no abuse – Maybe you’ve outgrown the relationship, or you simply want a fresh start. Whatever the reason, financial independence ensures you’re never stuck.
Safety Tip: If you suspect your partner monitors your finances, open a separate bank account at a different institution or stash physical cash somewhere safe.[3]
How to Start Building Your Emergency Fund
Even if saving money seems impossible, small steps add up. Here’s how you can start:
- Set a realistic goal – Even $500 can be a lifeline. Aim for three to six months of living expenses over time.
- Open a separate account – Choose a bank your partner doesn’t use, and opt for paperless statements.
- Make saving automatic – Even setting aside $10 a week adds up quickly.
- Reduce unnecessary expenses – Small cuts in daily spending can free up cash for your fund.
- Find a side hustle – Whether freelancing, pet sitting, or selling items online, an extra income stream helps.
- Seek assistance – Many organizations offer financial support and housing for women in crisis. Don’t be afraid to reach out.
Safety Tip: Before leaving, consider getting a free credit report to check for any financial liabilities in your name. Some abusive partners secretly take out loans or credit cards under their partner’s name.[4]
Final Thoughts: Financial Freedom is Real Freedom
The importance of having your own funds goes beyond just breakups — it’s about independence, confidence, and knowing that no matter what life throws at you, you have the means to stand on your own two feet.
Money should never be a reason to stay in a situation that makes you unhappy or unsafe. Whether you’re madly in love, single, or somewhere in between, make sure you have financial resources to choose yourself — always.
Start your emergency fund today. Your future self will thank you.
Footnotes:
[1] National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. (2023). “Understanding Domestic Violence Escalation.” Retrieved from www.ncadv.org.
[2] The Hotline. (2023). “How to Leave Safely.” Retrieved from www.thehotline.org.
[3] Women's Refuge Network. (2023). “Financial Safety Planning.” Retrieved from www.womensrefugenetwork.org.
[4] Federal Trade Commission. (2023). “Identity Theft & Financial Abuse.” Retrieved from www.ftc.gov.
About the author
Estelle is the Editor & Founder of Smart Healthy Women Mag. She is an expert Coach, Author and Speaker. She is passionate about providing her readers with successful strategies for realising a life of purpose, meaning and fulfilment using the best in change tools and believes that by reaching their potential, everyone can make the world a better place.
