When I work with clients to help them lose weight, I always ask about the network they have around them; are their partners, families and friends supportive of the changes they are making?
I have written before about how we need to be nurturing and encouraging to ourselves, but it's just as important to surround ourselves with supportive, positive people.
Here are three points that will help you to get the best from your ‘support team'.
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Let them know your AIM
People can only help and encourage you when they know what you are working towards. As women, we can sometimes tend to keep our goals secret. We don't want to tell anyone, because there is a niggling fear that we won't achieve what we want to, and then everyone will know we've failed.
By doing this, two things happen. Firstly, we send a strong message to our subconscious that we don't truly believe we can lose the weight we want to (and guess what? If we don't believe in ourselves and get the subconscious on side, then we are setting ourselves up for failure.)
Secondly, we are depriving those people around us of helping us out. By sharing your goals with your loved ones and being clear about the support you want, you will boost your chance of success. You will feel more accountable, you can share your achievements along the way and get the encouragement you need.
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Choose your team wisely
Okay, so it's wonderful to have people around you who want you to reach your goals. However, we all have some people in our lives who are not quite so supportive.
You know the ones. Perhaps it's a family member who constantly reminds you how you used to be the ‘chubby sister'. Or maybe it's a friend who declares that ‘You don't want to lose more weight, as you're starting to look too skinny.'
These people do NOT belong on your support team! Be aware of those around you who are more likely to sabotage your goals than help you achieve them.
Take some time to think about those people in your life who you find draining or negative and make a decision now to either limit the time you spend with them, or to put a protective barrier up when you are in their company. You can choose to allow their words to gently bounce off you.
Be aware of your saboteurs!
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Know who to go to when
What I mean by this is that different people offer different kinds of support.
As an example, I know that my husband is great at offering practical, logical advice, but if I'm feeling low and just need a listening ear, he's not my go-to person (he does offer a pretty great hug though!)
If I need some nurturing, I go to my sister or my girlfriends, and I have a coach who I go to for some objective inspiration.
When I work with my clients, they can share things with me they probably wouldn't with their family or friends, because I am objective. That can be truly liberating for them and they know that I absolutely have their best intentions at heart. I don't have a personal history with them, so there's no hidden agenda.
It's important to be aware that you have a range of people on your support team who can all offer different things to you. Know who to go to for what.
So, start thinking about your support team. Who's in and who's out? Think about who's going to encourage you and let them know your goals. Be aware of who to go to for what.
As a final thought, remember this is a two-way process. Be aware of how you can offer support to those around you and spread the love!
If you would like me to be part of your personal support team, I am offering free weight loss clarity calls to three people next week. Send me an email to claim your call at [email protected].
Editor’s Note: Don’t forget to check out Nicola’s online program “Forever Weightloss Home Study Program“. Your scale will thank you for it!!
