< PreviousDO THEY EXIST? By Sophia Husbands SOUL MATESAs I got older, I started to fantasise about meeting my Prince Charming, the one who would be there to support me, fight my battles. Okay, feminists may have been screaming in the background, after all, women had come a long way. But I was still a child, influenced by the Sweet Valley High books; sneakily reading my mother’s Mills and Boons under the bed covers. Then came adulthood where the real world did not match with those idealistic views. Love was more complicated not as straight forward as these novels had us believe. hen I was growing up, I loved to read fairytales. I liked how they always seemed to have a happy ending and good would always prevail over evil.WYet it's natural for people to want to have a happy ending, particularly when it comes to having a relationship. Girl meets boy and they fall for each other. Sometimes it may even be a brief affair: one night of passion, or a summer loving fling. Others have the intention of going into it for the long term. The ideal love that people want is a soul mate. This message was being conveyed not only in the movies, TV, but also in love songs like I Can’t Live If Living is Without You; Endless Love and Two Hearts. Yes, the 70’s and the 80’s did have some powerful love ballads. en were from Mars and women were from Venus.THE ONE LOVE WHO WOULD BE YOUR HEART; THE MISSING HALF, THE BEST FRIEND; WHO WOULD BE YOUR EVERYTHING.Mhere did the term "soul mate" come from?"Aspiration" usually has positive connotations. It is hope, a dream, and an ambition. The danger of having one vision may to some be limited. This is why it may be good to have a plan b, c and d. If it is only one person that can bring that source of love that you are wanting, is this automatically putting pressure on you and that one individual? I would say a resounding yes!As with some themes, symbolism and rituals, sometimes there are different interpretations of their origins. I checked with the God of the Internet (otherwise known as Google) and this of course generated pages of links. This was not too surprising considering the subject! One common thread that appeared was how the soul mate was a person who you instantly connect with, and this connection is so strong that you may not be able to imagine a your life without them as the love grows. Another interpretation was from a tale where both the female and male were originally joined together with all their reproductive systems, then were separated. This resulted in the two halves feeling disjointed. I always perceived my soul mate to be my other half, the one I have a strong connection, bond with.WWHAT IS THE MATTER WITH ASPIRING TO ONE TRUE LOVE?Last year, I had a discussion with a psychic that was challenging a belief, perception that I had with the term soul mate. She mentioned how a previous lover was a soul mate. How soul mates were not necessarily long- term. Have you noticed that soul mate has become plural?She then changed the term to “soul walker", defining it as a person that you are connected with instantly, perhaps due to familiarity. This is because you had met them previously in another lifetime; where you parted with “unresolved” issues and now in the present plane you needed to resolve them. How there is a strong bond and they were actually there to be part of your journey. They are not a “forever”; and how this person may not be a romantic partner. Thus can be a platonic best friend. This was not how I had envisioned my soul mate. It was a radical viewpoint. So I retreated and went back to base with regards to my thoughts on this matter. iewpoints can change and be challenged; after all it is all about perception.Vill this serve to liberate us?I believe it's all in the “perception”; how we view things. One person’s rubbish may be another’s treasure. Yes, this may not be romantic in the context of talking about love. Being the romantic that I am, I like a good love story and the concept of believing that there is someone out there for everyone is nice. But that someone - being one person - is very limiting. If we do have that implanted into our minds that there is only one person who can be that special love match, then this gives rise to people thinking that if they do have their soul mate, then they had better not let go. However a soul mate can be viewed as a soul walker, someone whom you meet and may be there for part of the journey. How revolutionary is this? I often meet people in coaching who are in love partnerships where it seem that it has reached it’s expiration date. I then ask the question: moving forward where would you like to be? They tell me that they find it difficult to “conceive” moving on from their partner. How they cannot envisage a life without them, as they perceived that person to be their “one true love” or “soul mate”. Okay, there may be some self-worth issues tied around this. WThat their belief of what they thought to be a definition of a “soul mate” was in actual fact an illusion. That it was now the time to be “open” to new opportunities. A soul mate was not their only chance of happiness, would this not be revolutionary? What is your experience with soul mates? Have you met one or more? ut what if they understood that yes the relationship has come to an end, they got what was required from that relationship. HAVE YOU MET ONE OR MORE SOUL MATES?BCover Story Samantha JayneWe talked to Relationship Coach Samantha Jayne about life, love and commitment, her business and what it's like as Relationship Expert for The Bachelor TV Series.She’s a certified Life Coach, Internationally Accredited Dating Coach, and human behavioural expert, and the author of Attraction Secrets You Need To Know, How To Be Irresistible, and How To Make A Man Commit. She is also the Relationship Expert to Network Ten's "The Bachelor" series. We caught up with Samantha as she shares some of her secrets to everlasting love with us. ed by her love of teaching her clients the secret to creating intense connections, Samantha is a matchmaker who is passionate about bringing love back into people’s lives, often by getting them out of their heads and into their hearts.I love helping women feel confident and get in touch with the power of their femininity and of course have the relationship they want and deserve with a good man. It’s what I’m passionate about and a special gift I have. I can read people like a book and help them quickly. I have always been fascinated with relationships and human behaviour. From a very young age people have come to me for dating and relationship advice and my help has transformed relationships. LYOUR COACHING SPECIALTY IS AS A RELATIONSHIP EXPERT - WHAT DREW YOU TO WORK IN THIS AREA?After being a matchmaker for over 10 years I realised it was more important to teach women how to boost confidence, and to understand men and commitment so they have these skills for life and make better choices with men. It’s kind of like having the secret recipe. I love it so much it doesn’t feel like work. ’ve even coded the 4 personality types into the types of men so that you can predict a man’s behaviour and learn how to attract him in my Make Men Commit program.I think fundamentally, viewers really want the fairy-tale romance story. Since we were little girls watching Walt Disney, from Cinderella to Frozen to Rom-coms, we've grown up with Prince Charming sweeping us off our feet. When given the opportunity as a normal everyday girl, having a real-life Prince Charming come into her life is a once in a lifetime opportunity. IOne of your roles is as an advisor to Network 10’s "The Bachelor” series. From your perspective, what is it about this series that is so compelling to viewers? where multiple women fight for the one man as this situation would never actually happen amicably in everyday life. Everyone on the show is genuinely looking for love and that is what is so appealing, they are all being brave and putting everything on the line for love. It’s the deepest human need to love and be loved. atching someone else going through it without having to feel vulnerable yourself is very appealing. Viewers get emotionally involved with the show as though they are one of the competitors, they particularly love the drama of the unique situation I want to give women a simple tool to have the relationship they desire with the man of their choice. So many women think that men don’t want commitment, but the reality is that men do want commitment - you just have to know how to trigger that in him.WHow did you come to start the Make Men Commit Program? What do you love about it?Next >