< PreviousFACE YOUR FEARSBy Danny Bader It can either inspire us to do great things or it can paralyze us to the point of doing nothing at all. The age old “fight or flight” syndrome is so ingrained in us that we may not even realize we’re doing it. However, each day that we make even the tiniest decision to not be at our best – to not show up for ourselves, for our jobs or for others – that is a choice that we’ve made out of fear. And it’s one that keeps us from living our best lives. ear is a powerful force. FHOW TO The answer is simple. Because it’s easier to continue doing what we know than to face uncertainty. So how do we move past our fear and set out on a path to success? Here are three steps that can get you headed in the right direction today. If we know we are living a life based out of fear why do we keep doing it? Fear is a fact of life. It lurks behind every insecure, unknown and scary feeling that we keep buried deep down inside. And more often than not, it stems from our thoughts of inadequacy, being hurt, being judged or simply failing. But once we recognize that this is a normal feeling and learn to expect it than we can begin to map out how to manage it. 1 - Expect itFighting fear is seldom done alone. Seeking support from strong friends and allies is essential to leading down the path to success. Talking with loved ones about your fears -- where you believe they’re coming from, how you feel when they arise, and how they are blocking you from your goals not only helps you vocalize your internal feelings but also allows you to know that you are not alone in your journey. Seeking the support of a professional coach from time to time is also helpful to ensure that your fear-based feelings don’t grow into larger issues like anxiety or depression. 2 - Fight itFear is often the result of us developing a vision comprising the negative outcomes that might arise as we cross the threshold into our unknown. The constant barrage of “What Ifs” cloud our focus and often lead us further and further away from where we want to be. That’s why developing a clear vision – a goal for ourselves – is instrumental in our quest to conquer fear. 3 - Develop A VisionWell, try this. Experiment with this the next time fear shows up: stop, acknowledge the fear, and then imagine everything working out just the way you want it. Do not let fear be the result of your being focused on the wrong side of your vision. Turn it around. As George Bernard Shaw offered us, “Life is not about finding yourself. Life is aboutcreating yourself.” Easier said than done right?“LIFE IS NOT ABOUT FINDING YOURSELF. LIFE IS ABOUT CREATING YOURSELF.” - GEORGE BERNARD SHAWSometimes, breaking down is the bravest thing you can do. ―VULNERABILITY TO STRENGTHBy Ebonie Allard 3 STEPS TO TURNTo share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength. - Criss Jami The first step is AWARENESS. We all have an awesome, inbuilt guidance system, which whispers wisdom from our souls, but many of us have forgotten how or gotten out of the habit of listening. More than that, we live in a society that glorifies and idolises optimism, or feelings of joy and promotes comparison. The kind of comparison that has us comparing a fish to a bicycle and wondering why we feel different. Which leaves us feeling vulnerable. Instead of teaching us that all feelings are equal and moveable and passing – we have been taught that some are less desirable and unwanted. These less desirable feelings like shame, anger, resentment, sadness or vulnerability have become the enemy – so we numb them out. We numb them with food, or alcohol, sex, work or TV – whatever your drug of choice, I know you have one. TThe feelings of vulnerability we have are in fact invitations for us to go inside and listen to our own internal wisdom. When we experience vulnerability we are in fact in tune with and noticing our inner guidance system. The trick is to listen. To become more aware and not to make the feelings less controlling or lessdominant, but to reframe them not as BAD feelings, but wise, alerts. I like to think of anger and sadness and shame and feelings of vulnerability as shadow deities; beautiful dark goddesses of the feeling realm, inviting me to go inside and listen for their wisdom. So, how do you turn vulnerability to strength? Listen to it, underneath the helplessness or fear is a whisper of truth talking to you. he thing is that our feelings, including vulnerability, are our inner guidance - our hearts and our true selves telling us who we are and what is right for us. TOnce you trust yourself and your feelings you will be acting from a place that is authentic and real. A place that resonates with people because it is your hearts message. People will hear you on the level from which you connect with them. When you connect with your heart and trust what it has to say then speak and act from your truth – it will have a profound effect – a rippling butterfly effect. The truth is that life is one huge oxymoron. The truth is that it is indeed through your vulnerability that you find your strength. he second step is TRUST. TLike building anything you must repeat the exercise until you become competent and confident in it. So start small, learning to trust yourself takes time and patience. Try not to set yourself up – pick good people to share your vulnerabilities and your heart with. Slowly you will gain momentum and find that as you trust yourself more you will trust others more and then one day you’ll find you are speaking to or acting with the bus driver or a stranger with the same heart and vulnerable realness as you would your bestie. he third step is PRACTICE. Next >