< Previousand allow yourself to really think about what it is you want. The key is being able to step into your own power Know Yourself Without knowing this you will continue to climb the same ladder or play in the same play ground that you were told to. You need to work out what really makes you shine. Sit down and write a list of all the things that you currently do in whatever aspect of your life that you just want to change – job, personal, community. Now look at everything and note what you really enjoy doing. Rank these items. Next really sit with why it is you enjoy doing these types of tasks. What is it about them that makes you happy? Makes your heart sing? By doing this you will start to work out your personal preferences or strengths. Play toyour strengths One of the biggest mistakes we often make in life is that we are so busy trying to belong that we lose ourselves in the process. As women, we find that we are often conforming to a stereotype ofsome description. Even men are effectively forced into a stereotype of working long hours and ‘sucking it up’ to show that they are capable of not only being successful in the career but ‘providing’ for the family. It is an old paradigm. By being you, stepping up onto your ladder, and being authentic you will be taking the step you need to really step into your own personal power and grow your own success. For most of our lives we have been taught that we need to focus on building up our weakness. Fill the gap with what we can do. Rebel against this! To be truly happy and step into the authentic you, step into your strengths. Play to them, create a business around them, a life around them or find a career that needs them as a focus and you will find that you will really start to thrive. There are others who have strengths where you don’t, they will help form the relationships and teams around you that will fill the gaps. You don’t need to fill them yourself! Be YouSELF- DOUBTBy Cheryl DuffyWe can always depend on self-doubt to make us feel unworthy of being loved, unworthy of being desired and generally unworthy of a happy life.(ventually, this recurring negative mindset becomes a trend that holds us back from creating a life we deserve! Self-doubt is a lack of confidence and self- esteem, and we need to overcome it to make our life great again! O., so we may have had a really bad personal experience that has knocked our confidence for six! It may be a broken relationship, loss of a job, or some disappointment that has caused us to question our value. KICKING THEHABIT OFknow from experience that my divorce had this effect on me, and had me thinking I would never have a happy relationship again. Who would love me" If my husband of 1 years didn’t love me anymore, why would anyone else" I thought my partner loved me warts and all, for better or for worse, but after 1 years of marriage wasn’t what we had normal after all that time" In hindsight, maybe not. For six years after my divorce, I didn’t think I was worth being with. There was something wrong with me that’s why my husband must have left. I certainly didn’t have the desire to be in another relationship all I wanted was my old life back. To somehow turn back the clock as though it was all a bad dream. 8nfortunately that wasn’t possible, and yet I couldn’t move forward, stuck in limbo between my old life and too afraid to create a new one. 0y self-loathing escalated and comfort eating saw me pile on 1 kgs, effectively self- sabotaging any attempt to be desired again! I didn’t make any effort to dress up or apply makeup, insisting I wanted someone to love for me for who I was, warts and all! Well this attitude didn’t get me any dates! IAattended a recovery program and embarked on a health regime. I lost 0 kg and looked and felt the best I ever had, which gave me the confidence to again consider dating. 0y children convinced me that no one would come knocking on my door, even though my mantra was “It will happen when it’s meant to happen”. Thinking I was ready to move on I created a virtual checklist of what I wanted in my next partner. 8nfortunately, my super human checklist didn’t help me open my heart for love. It ensured that before the rd date I had calculated the risk of being hurt and terminated any opportunity to grow a relationship by concluding I was better off on my own. fter years I saw a psychologist, 8years on, I met a man when I threw my checklist out the window and I considered he was worth taking the risk! We have been together for 1 months and are very much in love - my life is now great. He makes me feel loved, desired, and the best thing that’s ever happened to him. I sometimes have to pinch myself to check it’s not a dream. As habits are hard to break I can still feel that self-doubt creeping back whenever I don’t feel good about myself. It’s not about anything my partner does or doesn t do, but it is about how I feel about myself. It’s important for me to stay healthy and think of the positive attributes I have about why I am worthy of a loving partner. It’s important to remind myself to enjoy life as it is, and not worry about the future if he will stay, and not worry about what s happened in the past - instead I just enjoy the now. If you’re happy, people around you will want to stay, but if you let yourself spiral back into self-doubt, you jeopardise what happiness you do have. Own it! Be the best you can be! (nsure you boost your confidence about what you have and what you can offer as a partner every day! Negative thoughts can drag you back down to despair. Laccept those that want to join you for the ride those that don’t just aren’t meant to be on the ride with you. You will discover there are others more worthy. Self-doubt, kick the trend and reclaim your confidence and self-worth, you can create the life you want, just be sure to tell yourself you deserve it! After years of being in a very dark place personally, I am now a 'ivorce Coach and run “Survive 'ivorce” workshops to help others with their divorce journey to learn how to create a happy life. ife is there for the taking,GETTING PAID WHAT YOU'RE WORTHBy Simone Vincenzi n my line of work, I am often surprised by the stark differences between the way men and women approach asking for money. Has the spotlight on the equal pay debate distracted us from exploring something much more basic: A SIMPLE GUIDE TO II am going to explore this question from a man's perspective in the next few paragraphs. But before I share my opinion, let's start with some science first. MMen are wired to be hunters. They were the ones that were bringing home the food for the household. Also, the loudest and strongest man, the Alpha, would be in charge of the community. In the meanwhile, women made sure that they nurtured the family and the village. They did not learn to be the loudest, and they did not learn how to hunt and feed the village. On top of that, when society changed from matriarchal to patriarchal, women lost most decision- making rights, leaving the most important choices to men. In other words, women no longer enjoyed an elevated position. Men "brought home the bacon" and women were "obedient". en and women are fundamentally different. Next >