Page 11 - SHW Magazine Issue 37

Fhp your
perspective.

Research into eouples has shovtn that when unhappy couples are asked about their

partner’s character traits. they assign a whole load ol‘ negatixe traits to their partner

while assigning a whole lot ol' positive ones to themsely es but when they are happy,

the partner gets positiye traits too. This shows that this tendency is not so much

about stable eharaeter traits as it is about our perspeeti\e in the moment and it does

not help us in resolxing issues in relationships.

So next time you are thinking of your partner"s negative traits. try this little

exereise fur shitting up your perspeetiy e: think til‘ the trait you have assigned to

your partner. [or example, selliishness. Nnw think ol‘ an example til‘ your partner

haying been the apposite oliselliish. Next. think ota time you have been selliish. and

then a time you have been the opposite of selfish andjust notiee how it feels before

diving hack into the interaction.

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