< Previous19SMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINEThe short answer is, “Because YOU are worth it.” The longer answer has at least five reasons:1. HEALTHNegative emotions such as anger, hurt, fear, sadness, guilt and shame keep your body and mind tense and churning. You are unable to fully relax, sleep deeply and restfully and so your body’s natural ability to heal itself is hindered. Your immune system struggles and you become susceptible to every virus around. Depression, anxiety and a sense of heaviness or pain are your daily reality. Any emotions and experiences you’ve supressed will fester and grow into worse issues. Happiness is fleeting, if it happens at all, and your dourness hinders your relationships, withering connections and support. Expressing gratitude for all that you have, and you have so much when you stop and notice, is calming, soothing and your heart and body feel lighter. The more you relax, the easier your body can heal itself. The better you feel, the easier life becomes, even if circumstances haven’t changed.2. RELATIONSHIPSWhen you’re in the emotional turmoil as mentioned above, it’s impossible to relax and enjoy being fully present with your partner, family, friends, colleagues, and clients/customers. Being fully present in the moment is where happiness blossoms. All these relationships can suffer as you expend time and energy rehashing your past experiences and, at some level, expecting the same from your current relationships. Trust is missing. Adults, like children, will act the way you treat them, so you can choose to create an upward spiral or a downward spiral. Noticing all there is to be grateful for about that person shifts how you feel and act towards them, without you even speaking. Remember, no human is perfect, not even you.You can be very grateful the perpetrators are no longer in your life, that you have learnt valuable life lessons from them, and you are alive and moving forward, albeit a day at a time. You won.If you are missing someone who has died, then you can be grateful you were blessed to have that person in your life and loving you, even though it wasn’t for as long as you’d wish. Many live their whole life never experiencing what you did. No one can take the ‘love memory’ from your body, except you. 20SMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINEExpressing gratitude keeps the loving feelings alive, just as anyone who loved you would wish for you. No doubt you have regrets about actions and words, done and not done, said and unsaid, and now you can choose to focus on and feel grateful for all the times you loved right.3. SELF-ESTEEMWhile you are resisting expressing gratitude for all that you are and have, you are staying stuck in the victim mentality and your self-esteem plummets. You’ll notice yourself complaining and blaming past experiences for what’s showing up in your life now. Remember, the Past is gone and now only exists in your head. You are the only person now keeping yourself down, and hurting yourself by re-living past pain. Gratitude is a way of saying, “Okay Universe, I’ve learnt this particular lesson. Thank you. There’s no need to send me another chance to experience and learn it.” You might have noticed when you have been feeling down on yourself, you tend to attract others more than willing to either join you or keep you down in your Pity Pit or Bitch Ditch. Learn to love yourself through gratitude for every body part not dead, look up, out and around to the beauty that surrounds you, and start hanging out with positive, happy people. They are all around, just waiting for you to notice them. The more fun you have, the more grateful you are for what is, the more your self-esteem improves, the happier you are, and you’re on that wonderful upward spiral.21SMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINE4. PERSPECTIVEThe main reason keeping a gratitude journal (as simple as feeling gratitude for the 5 things you write down each day) is so powerful is that it reminds you that your life is not 100% terrible, that whatever is happening doesn’t consume 100% of your life. Remember, life is only a series of moments. Even if you were alone in a war zone, bombs raining down, absolutely terrified, you could be grateful your loved ones aren’t with you, grateful you are still alive, grateful for the functioning limbs you have, the eyesight, hearing, sense of smell, the last meal you ate, that they are not atomic bombs exploding around you etc. Remember, what you focus on amplifies. Focus on, and express gratitude for whatever you wish to multiply.5. PERSONAL POWERYou reclaim your personal power when you decide how you prefer to feel, and act to make that possible. Taking action can be an in-the-moment choosing to notice a beautiful flower, or to pause and stroke your pet, smile and hug a loved one, or thank someone even though he didn’t do it exactly your way. Taking action can also be setting the intention and a plan to make long-term significant changes in your life. Keeping a gratitude journal is a daily reminder of your personal power, your intention to reclaim your life and your step by step progress.You reclaim your personal power when you choose to enjoy living the rest of your life, being the best YOU possible now and in your future, and making the past simply passed.The “How can you?” question has been partially answered above. Depending on where your mindset is at present, and how quickly you wish to clear your ‘head trash’ and move forward, engaging a mindset healer and coach is the fastest, least painful way to become happy, healthy and wealthy, in all senses of the word. Modalities like NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and mBIT (multiple brain integration techniques) are my personal favourites for mindset healing and coaching. No past trauma needs to be re-lived, and positive results are commonly experienced from the first session.Whether you choose to D.I.Y., or seek help from a practitioner or mindset coach, know you are worth the effort. The rewards will make you truly grateful you made the time to change. Stuck as a victim? Like hell!!22SMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINE“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.” - Maya AngelouGRATITUDE IS NOT ONLY THE GREATEST OF THE VIRTUES, BUT THE PARENT OF ALL THE OTHERS~ CICERO (106- 43BC)24SMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINETWO MINUTES OF GRATITUDEHow a two minute mindfulness practice of gratitude transformed myrelationship and my life.by Annette Phillips I always thought “love at first sight” was something that happened in the movies, until I met my partner. That “lightning bolt” moment I didn’t believe in actually happened to me!Our relationship was wonderful for a very long time but after 22 years, two childrenand all the usual pressures of life, it was not in the healthiest of states and I was determined to make it better.I still loved my partner very much, enjoyed his company and wonderful sense of humour and I valued the family unit so I set out to find a way to stop my powerful emotions hijacking my love and patience.My partner and I tried counselling which was wonderful but was costing us a fortune.We attended a wonderfully empowering course at Relationships Australia called“Building Better Relationships” but as the course finished we forgot most of what we had learnt. Research suggests we only remember 4 -10% of what we are taught!I was on a mission and set about researching sustainable practices to nourish and support my relationship. I needed a way to recalibrate quickly when I was not my best self. I discovered a daily gratitude If you think you’re too entrenched in bad relationship habits and too busy to change, think again. Annette Phillips, mum, partner, entrepreneur, creator and director of the mobile App “Take Two – two minutes to a better relationship” knows firsthand the positive changes that occur in relationships when small moments are taken to reflect on how and why we love the way we do. She created the healthy, loving, conscious relationship she has always desired. And so can you!25SMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINEpractice that has totally transformed my relationship with myself, my partner and has transformed my life.Here’s what I do and how it helps.DAILY RITUALRituals create a space for us to focus on what’s most important to us. They enable us to create loving commitments and kind intentions that nourish our minds and hearts.Every morning I wake up and practice a two-minute mindfulness - gratitude ritual.I pause, breathe deeply and prepare to open to a sense of gratitude and optimism.It turns out gratitude training is not so different from muscle training at the gym.Research into neuroplasticity reveals that as you develop new habits, you rewire the brain. (Shawn Achor 2012)THE POWER OF PAUSINGOne of Oprah’s most impactful guests, Dr Jill Bolte Taylor says, “When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90 second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.”26SMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINEWhen we change our routine...we are creating new brain connections...Simply put, if we are exposed to a stressful situation we should allow ourselves to observe our surrounding emotions for 90 seconds.Pausing allows me to stop, recalibrate and focus on being grateful for all the positives in my relationship. This gives me a deep sense of satisfaction, it’snourishing and I’m far more connected with my partner even during times of stress.THE BENEFITS OF DEEP BREATHINGDeep breathing encourages a full oxygen exchange and it’s the fastest and easiest way to turn down the stress response.A deep breath slows the heartbeat, relaxes muscles, lowers blood pressure, releases endorphins and calms the body.My morning ritual involves taking a long slow deep breath as I prepare to shift my thinking, reframe a situation and focus on being grateful.SHIFTING PERSPECTIVE IN TWO MINUTESDid you know that ninety percent of any success is a direct result of how the mind is used?This means the quality of my thoughts determines the quality of my life – very empowering information. I have a lot control over how I react to situations. With this in mind I threw myself fully into research mode to collect and collate profound relationship inspiration and helpful scientific evidence to focus on during my morningritual.This morning’s inspiration was from Gretchen Rubin, “Gratitude is a key to a happylife. People who cultivate gratitude get a boost in happiness and optimism, feel more connected to others, are better liked and have more friends, and are more likely tohelp others – they even sleep better and have fewer headaches.”There is no prerequisite for relationship success apart from effort, a consistent beliefin success and a positive mindset.A two-minute daily mindfulness practice has been transformational for me. Today my partner and I have a healthy, loving, conscious relationship. We are in a stronger place now more than ever before.27SMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINELive a life of your own design...Esprit CoachingClick here to book a discovery call now28SMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINE“And when you crush an apple with your teeth, say to it in your heart:Your seeds shall live in my body,And the buds of your tomorrow shall blossom in my heart,And your fragrance shall be my breath,And together we shall rejoice through all the seasons.” - Khalil GibranNext >