< PreviousSMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINE - PAGE 29INVENTORP highly creativeP naturally quite competitive P loves being acknowledged for their achievementsP can cease to “shine” if restricted from doing what they love P likes to try new things P always respond well to any rewards this may bring. NURTURERP needs to talk things through with othersP can become frustrated if left to do things for themselves P prefers being “down to earth” when engaging in activitiesP very comfortable in drawing on past successful events to base their current activities on.PLAYER P very “social”P values their time with family and friendsP often very disorganised, often displaying as being carelessP at their best when interacting with othersP great storytellers through their use of colourful language. ANALYSER P most likely not “seen” at first P very analytical P can shy away from social interactions P very “cut and dried”, tending to pay great attention to black and white details P can present as pessimistic due to their meticulous nature. PAGE 30 - SMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINEIn reality, every one of us has a combination of these four person-abilities within us. However, there will be one that stands out in each of us, and this will dictate our natural behaviours, strengths and so on if allowed to. It is “who we are”.So, if you are still unsure, look for such things in your child’s behaviours as to: how they talk about their day how fussy a dresser they are how they eat at the dinner table how they choose the games and activities they engage in how comfortable and willing they are to be around unfamiliar people how patient they are how they do what they are told.Knowing more about the “person-ability” residing within your child will allow you to see even more clearly what an amazing “little person” you have been gifted with. It will allow you to connect and engage at a much deeper and more meaningful level.Accepting your children’s natural ways leads inevitably to loving them more … and them loving you more – a win-win situation for all. SMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINE - PAGE 31 PAGE 32 - SMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINEHOW TOHAVE THE RELATIONSHIP YOU NEVER DREAMED POSSIBLEby Louise Armstrong“How can we make our relationship even better?” – this is the number one question I get asked every week in my couples counseling.We live in a society that expects quick fixes. There’s an urgency to have everything right now on a plate, and we want to shed layers of emotional baggage in one afternoon. That’s where the secret lies — work.Six Power Questions To Help Bond Your Relationship For LIFESMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINE - PAGE 33Relationships are work. There are no short cuts, no half measures, and no quick fixes. We have to dive in there - hook, line and sinker.Ian and I have been married for over 28 years and are in this for the long haul. Last week Ian turned to me and said, “I think we’ve just hit a new level in our relationship; life really does get better.”“Where did that spring from?” I asked myself.That is what happens when you dive that much deeper into your relationship. Once you’ve healed your own emotional wounds and you feel whole and complete, you can start to fill each other’s emotional love tank, which allows you to speak the love language that your partner responds to — you’ll both feel emotionally loved at a much deeper level. PAGE 34 - SMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINELet’s look at some questions you can ask each other: 1 “What do you find most difficultto put into words and how can I help you with this?”This is a very powerful question as you are asking what makes your partner feel vulnerable. Showing your vulnerability tells your partner it’s okay to do this and can lead your relationship to a much deeper place. Perhaps it’s about sex, the relatives, being on your phone, not supporting him when in company with others or feeling inadequate in some area. We all have our own triggers for this.SMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINE - PAGE 352“What are your feelings about our sex life?”Following on from touching we can look at your intimacy. This is always a big one as it’s one of the areas (along with money) that are rarely discussed in an open way. The best way to approach this is to start with what is working for you and then what isn’t and what you’d like to try. Then, gently ask them their views and work out when and how you will implement these. PAGE 36 - SMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINE3“Have I offended you in any way recently?”Now you might not be ready to hear the answer to this but it’s good to get it out in the open. I have done this many times in the past and it’s been a struggle at first because I always wanted to defend myself and give my reasons. But, hear them out without interrupting and just listen — it’s how they saw it and how it felt.Then, comes the hard bit — accepting it. Follow this with, “How do you think I could behave differently next time?”4“Have I had an argument this week that hasn’t been resolved?”This is a question to ask yourself. I know the first thing that will come to mind is, “I don’t want to bring up will those bad feelings again.”But the trouble is that if you leave resentment, it festers and grows and will rear its ugly again once another trigger displays itself. So as hard as it is and you know you feel uncomfortable, ask the question, and get it out in the open.SMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINE - PAGE 375“Is there something I can do to make you feel more loved?”This is a great question if you are together in a quiet moment. He may well want more peace and just enjoy being there with you, he may want to be touched more, he may want to have some positive words said about him, he may want you both to start planning your future together, or perhaps he just wants more quality time with you.6“What’s your biggest fear for our relationship?”Perhaps get clear on ex-plaining your fear first to put him at ease then it will give him the go ahead that it’s ok to be vulnerable and share. This really will start opening up channels that will help to cement your relationship further, and get it out in the open.I hope you will take the time out to strengthen what you already have — it doesn’t happen by itself. Remove all distractions, phones, computer, TV, children, and pets.Create a clear space and half an hour purely for each other. PAGE 38 - SMART HEALTHY WOMEN MAGAZINEZ Z ZHappy, healthy relationships that have great meaning take work but they can also be the most amazing part of your life. Z Z ZNext >