< PreviousSURVIVE THE TEEN YEARSBy Allison Chambers and posted this: “I am now reminded whycertain animals eat their young… #notsureiwillsurvivetheteenyears”. Cathy was obviously seeking support in her plight, but her delivery was brutal. No judgements from me, however, because I was in her place just a few years ago and delighted to view it now in the past. My life became a steady flow of teenage challenges and I, too, questioned whether I would survive. y cousin Cathy recently became my Facebook “friend” M3 STRATEGIES TOBAdolescence is often a time of both disorientation and discovery. It’s a transitional period that can bring up issues of independence and self- identity; many teenagers and their peers face difficult choices about schoolwork, sexuality, drugs, alcohol, and social life. It’s often a non-linear journey toward adulthood. And when teens are bright, it’s even tougher. ut taking psychology courses in college taught me what is “normal” during this developmental stage. After reading all I could about adolescence, it became clear that the emphasis be primarily on what parents can do for their teenagers. Giving teens undivided attention when they want to talk. No reading, watching TV, or busying yourself with other tasks. Listening calmly while respecting their point of view. Speaking to them as courteously and pleasantly as possible. Understanding your children’s feelings-even if you don’t approve of their behavior. This involves being approachable and non-judgmental. Making efforts to commend your children often and appropriately. Understanding that they need to challenge your opinions and your ways of doing things togain separation from you - essential for creating their own identity. This includes: VentBut what about parents? It’s easy to hyper-focus on our teens, but at times like these we need to save ourselves first, because the duty of maintaining harmony within our homes and our relationships falls squarely upon us. Here are the 5 essential self-care strategiesI implemented to stay sane. Having a support system is crucial for parents during these years. I would meet my friend, Linda at her house every Sunday for a “debriefing” session. We’d let loose on anything that had bothered us throughout the week. She had the perfect home for our conversations because it had two levels, so it was easy to find a quiet space, away from listening ears. Sometimes Linda had a busy Sunday planned, with a family event to attend later that day, but we still took the time to meet and let off steam as we steamed, chopped and prepared food for her event. 1This strategy trumps all others because it has so many benefits besides stress relief. Exercise increases your overall health and sense of well-being, which puts more pep in your step every day. It also produces endorphins - chemicals in the brain that act as natural painkillers and mood elevators-and improves the ability to sleep, which in turn relieves stress, too. It stands to reason that if your body feels better, so does your mind. Working out is crucial for parents to maintain mental clarity. If you don’t have an exercise habit yet, start today. This is my favorite quote about exercise: “ ‘I regret that workout’, said no one-ever.” 2ExerciseThis section would have been titled “Meditation” but I didn’t want to scare anyone.Even though we know it has a plethora of health benefit-inducing relaxation, increasing concentration, slowing the aging process- that doesn’t make meditating any easier. I had done my due diligence by attending workshops or weekly guided-meditation classes, and purchasing CDs, but it still felt like punishment. Now, I practice just the easy part: the breathing. This allows me to be anywhere and still do the minimum-effective dose, which I have determined is 3 breaths. A long inhale through my nose followed by a long exhale through my nose, does the trick and feelslike I have hit an internal “refresh” button. If I choose to step-up my game, I can download an app (either “Calm” or “Headspace”) and do a 10-minute guided meditation whenever I wish. 3BreatheVisualiseIt’s essential to remind ourselves daily that we’re doing okay. Try this: Whenever something great happens to you-like handling a conflict diplomatically, finishing a challenging task, or even thinking that your arms look especially toned- write it down on a slip of paper and put it in your mason “jar of awesome”. The idea is to keep collecting these nuggets so when you need to get through a tough time, you can rediscover how capable, smart, beautiful, and awesome you are. When you’re lying in bed and issues creep into your mind, ruminating is natural, though detrimental. Wikipedia explains: Rumination is the focused attention on the symptoms of one’s distress, and on its potential causes and consequences, as opposed to its solution. Instead, imagine the issue you’re having and then visualize the best possible resolution. For example, if the trouble involves communication with your teen, envision them smiling at you and sincerely saying to you, “I understand”. Then go to sleep. 5Jar of Awesome 4Apply one or more of these tools and experience nearly stress-free days. Memories of your “young” during these years may even become surprisingly pleasant. THE REBEL ARCHETYPEBy Rik Schnabel FINDING YOUR PURPOSE IN YOUR PAINIThe Rebel zigs while the world zags, as she takes a stand for her cause. Humanity has enjoyed its greatest breakthroughs when the Rebel finds their cause. The rebel archetype must have a cause, which is typically fuelled by pain. Emmeline Pankhurst was a rebel. In 1912, she was arrested 12 times — but she never strayed from her pursuit of equality. To free domestically diminished women, sheembodied the expression “Well-behaved women rarely make history.” She was viewed as an unconventional and innovative person with a cause. Mother Teresa enjoyed being unpredictable and did not conform to norms. She was once invited to a board meeting to discuss ideas to end poverty. She refused to drink from the bottles of Perrier water when she discovered the cost of each bottle. She said, “Do you know how many people could be fed with the cost of just one bottle?” The Rebel Archetype is characterised as a person who refuses allegiance or resists authority or control. Considered as one of the greatest humanitarians of the 20th Century, Mother Theresa was a rebel. Why does the world need rebels?While we might think we are the superior beings on this planet, we cause more destruction than any living creature. We pollute. We destroy and disturb. In this nuclear age we even threaten the planet’s existence. As a trainer of tomorrow’s leaders today, I believe we need rebels more than ever. The digital age has digitised humans; we are numbers and algorithms. As such, we are bombarded with data to the point of distraction. And while we are distracted, some of our narcissistic political and business leaders are undermining our resources and destroying our environment in their pretentious pursuits. We need more courageous leaders who hold a higher moral code. We need rebels to wake us up, to stand up and speak out. After-all, rebels can right wrongs. At a time when racism was rife around the world, Rosa Parks took a rebellious stand and inspired Martin Luther King Jr. to get vocal at a time when African Americans were forced by laws to sit at the back of the bus. Rosa zigged while everyone else zagged. Oprah Winfrey launched to stardom by taking a positive line, while every other journalist was accentuating the negative. While many of women in the Middle East follow a subservient mandate, Tawakul Karman, a 32-year- old mother of three and chair of Women Journalists Without Chains, defends human rights and freedom of expression. These are some of our rebels; our heroic agents for change. Next >