< PreviousGet the Play-doh out (yes, I do mean without the kids around!) or better still buy some air-drying clay. 4When was the last time you put on a track and and danced like no one was watching? There’s a sense of release and creative abandon whenyou let your body take on shapes and forms. It doesn’t have to be Swan Lake, but there are huge benefits in engaging your creative brain with the sounds of the music. You can find out more about how we encourage women to take time out for themselves at www.InspiringMummyClub.com This is a chance to be led by your instincts into what you want to create. Watch and experience what happens as you move the clay in your hands. There is pleasure to be found in simply connecting with the material in your hands.5Get dancing!YOUR DREAM LIFEBy Catherine Plano You’ve heard that before, right? So why don’t you believe it? We all choose our experiences and we are all responsible for our own happiness. We all have the ability to create the life we want – we just have to be clear on ‘what we want’. And this is exactly where most of us become unstuck. The main reason why most of us don't get what we want is because we haven't decided what we want. his is ‘your’ life and YOU are in charge of your reality. THOW TO CREATEBut the trap is that all of this is external stuff! And when we seek external things to satisfy us we give our power away… because when we don’t ‘get’ these things that we want or when ‘problems’ arise, we inevitably become dissatisfied, and we make life even more difficult for ourselves. a choice that enables us to take complete control of our lives and design things the way we want them to be! We do have free will - it’s a choice, Once you make a decision about ‘what’ your life looks like, the laws of the universe conspire to make it happen! If we were asked to design our ‘ideal life’ many of us would write a list that seeks more money, more romance, more success or more happiness …. Try to be ‘aware’ of the broken record you repeatedly play over and over again. Instead of saying, “I am too tired” being focused on how tired you are why not say“I will take a rest so to replenish my energy”. If you are focused on not having enough money and your broken record is saying you can’t get out of debt, replace it with “I will start a budget and keep an eye on where I am spending my money”.THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT, NOT WHAT YOU DON’T WANT …One that gets thrown around a lot is “I am too fat” this is a common catch cry … what about focusing on what you want and say to yourself “I will exercise 30 minutes three times a week.” Whatever the mind believes, the mind can achieve. Neuroscience tells us that our brain responds to what we have experienced in our past as our reality and then we bring it forward with our thinking and emotion. When we do this, we create – yes, you guessed it, more of it. Your mind is such a powerful instrument that it can literally deliver everything you want! But you have to believe – wholeheartedly, completely, and with absolute clarity and certainty, that what you want is possible.If you are going to be successful in creating the life that you want to live, the life of your dreams, you have to ‘believe’ that you are capable of making it happen and the only way to do that is to have a plan. The simple fact of the matter is that your brain is wired to respond to goals and if you don’t have a plan or a goal it’s like jumping in your car and not knowing where you want to go. When you give your unconscious mind a goal it will work day and night to achieve it and that’s the secret right there! Don’t just focus on ‘what’ you want but focus on ‘why’ you want it, in order to keep yourself focused and motivated. Give yourself permission to dream BIG …Pretty soon you’ll see signs that you’re well on track to getting everything you want. Don’t be daunted by setbacks, use them as opportunities to reset, and keep going. Once you accept that you are the creator of your reality and that you are in charge of your life, this level of responsibility is uniquely empowering. The ‘why’ factor is usually the warm fuzzy feeling of achievement or joy you get when you’re thinking about what you want, and it’s so important to keeping you on track. HAVE FUN TOOBy Sue Lester WHY CAN'T MUMSSqueals of delight, and urgent calls of “Dad, Dad, me next!” flood into your kitchen.You peek through the window and see the flushed excited faces and grins of pure pleasure of your children as their father tosses them around, doing the rough and tumble Dad-play. Your smile fades as that sense of exclusion takes over. As you sigh and return to your kitchen duties, that twinge of resentment at your husband strengthens. How come he gets to have all the fun? They exchange meaningful glances with their dad as they troop out of the room again. You glare at him, and snap that “nothing’s the matter” when he asks. So much for a lovely day at home with the family. So, what’s going wrong? Why are you feeling more and more unhappy, even lonely, in your own family? As we grow up, our parents, grandparents and other adults model parenting behaviour, for better or worse. You may decide you’ll never be like your mother, or just like her, or not even really think about it, yet at some point her words will come from your mouth. Given you have been listening to her from in the womb, and all the years since, it’s not really surprising. By the time they all tumble inside for lunch, your unhappiness lashes out, admonishing them to quieten down, wash those dirty hands, and “for goodness sake, leave your dirty shoes outside!” Denial, repressing strong feelings only causes them to fester and erupt later causing far more damage than necessary. Secondly, give yourself permission to have fun, even though you are a mother and terribly grown up and responsible. Having fun doesn’t mean being totally irresponsible to real danger, it means relaxing and allowing yourself to be silly, to play, to imagine and to get lost in giggly moments, just like you used to. TThe Nature part comes in the form of your instinct to protect your young from harm, not only for their sake, but also for your own survival. It’s difficult to forage for food and run for safety burdened by an injured or sick child. Your danger radar is highly sensitive. That’s part of the problem. We live in a crazy frantic world, over-stimulated to the point of overload. As well as feeling you have to be grown up and sensible at all times, your danger radar has become hyper-sensitive. So, just as our fear button has been jammed almost permanently on by our imagination, building into anxiety, even panic attacks, so you can start imagining dangers that aren’t real or realistic. In trying to protect your child you actually smother him. His instinct is to struggle, and it all becomes an exhausting battle. So, what’s the solution? Firstly, the mindfulness to be aware of your emotions at the time, and the honesty to acknowledge what they are, to yourself and your partner. hat’s the Nurture part of parenting, including the view on what ‘good’ mothers ‘should’ do. HPlaying with your children creates a closer bond, increasing your emotional bank account. Ditto with your partner – more fun and laughter connects you. It makes it easier to enrol them in the clean-up, tidying up and other home duties. You can find ways to make it an extension of the game. Mess is part of having children. You can have the Vogue magazine house when they leave home, though by then you might have discovered you actually don’t need that glossy exterior to feel happy. Thirdly, give yourself permission to have fun as you, not ‘Mum’, outside of the home, with other adults. The more you feel fulfilled, enthusiastic and happy, the better ‘Mum’ you’ll be, as a role model and as a happy, fun person to spend time with. aving fun means joining in when your kids play, rather than just supervise from the outside. It’s important you let them take the lead if you are joining into their game. Next >