Imagine how easy things could be if people were like cabs. Whenever people are ready to date and eventually settle down, they’d just turn their light on and you’d know if they’re available. The real world of dating isn’t as convenient as it was back in the olden days. In fact, despite our leaps in technological advancement and social media interaction, things became a bit more complicated.
For the modern professional single, the day is cluttered with work, socializing, entertaining clients, seeing family and friends, and relaxing. Life is busy and thanks to the many things going on in a professional single’s life, meeting someone new and interesting can be a real challenge but it can also be managed thanks to services of introduction agencies.
This is where a helping hand can propel you into dating success. A matchmaker or dating coach brings together people who not only share the same interests but are also at a similar stage in their lives, with their diverse clientele who are ready for a relationship and are actively looking for the right person for them.
However, even if you decide to turn to an introduction agency or date coach for help, you have to remember it doesn’t end there. Being introduced to someone who is interesting and is compatible with you only means the battle is half-won. Unfortunately, most people tend to become shy during meet-ups and they end up missing out on plenty of opportunities to turn a simple night into what could have been an epic date night.
Debilitating shyness is a common barrier to having a nice night out but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t overcome it! Try some of these tested ways to help defeat your dating shyness:
Practice with a friend.The fear of rejection is the biggest component of shyness in dating. You can eliminate this by practicing on a friend. Think of this as a role-playing activity. Sure, it’s different because you already know each other but you have to start somewhere! Pretend you’re on a date with someone you’re really interested in and start casual conversation on a variety of topics but stay away from debatable topics such as politics and religion. You should also avoid overused, tedious topics such as the weather! You can also practice injecting topics with humor and eventually, your natural charm will show during the actual date.
Talk to more people. Once you’ve practiced role-playing with a friend, you can start practicing on people who aren’t your date. Don’t be afraid to chat up people you meet in different social situations from the old lady beside you to the bank teller whom you meet twice a month. Think of this as using friendliness to overcome your shyness.
Watch your body language. When you’re on a date, smile and show you’re friendly and approachable even when it seems you’ve ran out of topics to talk about. You may be nervous as hell but that doesn’t mean you should let it show. Keep calm and even if you make a blunder, don’t stress about it. Most dates are actually more forgiving than you think.
Don’t look at your date as a trophy. When you look at a date as a trophy, you unconsciously think of dating as something that has to do with winning and losing, making you feel like you “lost” if thing regrettably go south. No matter how attractive your date is, don’t view them as a prize, but as a person like yourself who is also looking for a strong, lasting relationship.
Don’t put your date on a pedestal. This is still related to the point above. Basically, you should avoid attaching any special significance to your date. When you make your date feel like he’s too good for you, he will start to think that as well. See your date as a human being with the same flaws and qualities of an average person… just like you! Wouldn’t it be nicer to talk to someone who views you as an equal?
Forget about your unrealistic expectations. It’s ok to have a type of person in mind when you sign up with an introduction agency but start every date with a blank slate. Forget about your notions of whether or not the person you’re dating will fit into your imagined fairy tale ending. When going out on a date, set your mind on the premise that no one is guaranteed to fit into your notion of the perfect person but you should trust in your introduction agency’s expertise. They won’t set you two up if you’re not compatible in the first place so just keep your cool, enjoy, and watch as the rewards naturally present themselves.
Don’t take things too personally. Succeeding in finding a relationship means being able to shrug off unhelpful, negative comments. You shouldn’t take every offensive joke, insinuation or remark as a personal affront. After all, you may have also said things you don’t mean in the past. Think of this as being similar to those occasions. In some instances however, certain people may make inappropriate comments and in those cases, you should definitely stand up for yourself.
Simply listen. If you’re too shy to do the talking, then let your date talk about his self for a while. The “self” is everyone’s favorite topic. Not only will this let your date have a good time but this will let you know more about them too. Ask open-ended questions, sit back and listen. Keep your ear alert for topics you could ask about should your conversation lull.
Stop thinking about the way you look. Shyness happens when you think about you’re too preoccupied about your flaws and this shows when you become more hesitant as the date progresses. Don’t be too self-conscious, focus on your actual date and you’ll forget about your jitters.
Don’t be afraid if there’s no second date. Even the greatest athletes walk into the arena knowing there’s a chance they’ll lose. Likewise, you shouldn’t expect every date to be a roaring success with a 100% chance of a second date. Sometimes, even the most fun dates are not guaranteed to turn into something more. If it becomes a relationship, that’s great! If not, remember there are plenty of fishes in the sea. Pick yourself up and try again. Just view every date as a positive learning experience.
Forgetting about your shyness will help change your dating life and you will start to exude more confidence and fewer fears. Soon, you can open up to more people and you’d find the perfect match… one who doesn’t just share the same age range and location but one who also shares the same interests, professional goals and personal dreams! And here’s a last piece of advice. When you walk up to your date and feel those familiar jitters once again, you should know most dates are just as nervous worrying about what others think of them! So have a drink, chat and have a great date!
For more information please visit us at Blue Label Life, a leading introduction agency for professional singles using the links below - you’re bound to find the right one!