Recovering from Disappointment
When I was a little girl, I often imagined how I'd find the man of my dreams, how he'd propose in the most romantic way ever, how I'd exuberantly fall into his arms saying “YES!” and how we'd live happily ever after.
Little did I know back then about how much reality can suck!
Firstly, the guy who asked me to marry him wasn't the man of my dreams because he actually loved the idea of the wife I could be a lot more than the girl I was.
When he proposed, we weren't in the most romantic place ever. He didn't even have a ring!
We were actually pretty stressed out cleaning the place we had just spent our holidays at, already running late for our flight and looking for our tickets.
That was the moment when he thought it might be a great idea to ask me to marry him.
I didn't feel exuberant.
All I felt was irritated! How dared he ruining my little girl's dream in such a sobering way?
OK, I did say “yes …”. (Note: I didn't say “YES!”).
But maybe you already know what happened next.
Instead of making it to the altar together I made it to an estate agent on my own.
I left my fiancée although my entire circle thought I had gone crazy because, as they used to say, “we were like Barbie and Ken”.
But here's the thing:
Barbie and Ken are dolls and, although they look perfect, I'm pretty sure their plastic partnership sucks, too.
Don't things often turn out differently than expected?
Of course they do!
Because the concept of life simply isn't failure-free.
But it is completely up to us how we handle our less fortunate episodes in life.
This is what I do to make sure I recover properly:
1. I nourish my body with super healthy, simple and real food.
2. I nourish my mind with daily visualization and meditation exercises.
3. I take time to work out every day, even if it is just 20 minutes.
4. No matter how busy I am, I take a break from my desk every two hours.
5. I do all of my shopping online and have things delivered to my home, which allows me a little extra time just for myself.
During this time, I pamper myself with for instance a DIY beauty recipe, a good book, a nice movie or other things that recharge my batteries. And I don't feel guilty about it!
6. If I'm starting to lose balance, I prioritize. I cannot always put myself first, but household chores definitely come last!
7. Every now and then, I get myself a present. Not because it's my birthday, but simply because I deserve it.
8. I teach my kids that Mums (yes, I eventually did find the man of my dreams although he still hasn't proposed) do not always want to play.
Sometimes Mums just want to sit and do nothing. (And every now and then they prefer ordering a pizza instead of preparing a super healthy meal from scratch).
9. I repeat to myself that it is ok to “take” without always giving something back right away.
10. I set boundaries: if I really do not want to do something I will tell people so.
There are always moments in life when we feel stuck and disappointed. Of course, it is ok to press the pause button for a while and lick our wounds.
Chances are, however, that this won't actually make us feel better.
My advice: next time life makes you stumble, make a list of all the things that do make you feel better.
And then get ready to rumble again!